Here Comes the End (Five Hargreeves/Original Female Character| The Umbrella Academy)

Chapter 1: Healing From Your Childhood Trauma Until You're Forced to Go Back Home

Chapter Text

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older?
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong?

The night was young and the stars shone brightly. The moon wasn’t anything impressive, just a waning crescent. The only special thing about that night was that they had a moment to be alone. They had a successful mission so training was short and they were given free time.

Two young teens, just only tasting the beginning of their adolescence. A boombox sat on the ledge nearby. Candles all around, lighting the night in a relaxing aura.

The two danced together, just casually swinging each other around in circles. Just enjoying their time alone. No hiding, no pretending, no containing their feelings, or having to think about what to say.

“I’m surprised you know music from the 20th century.” The boy said with a teasing smile on his handsome face.
“It’s the Beach Boys, Five. Of course, I know the Beach Boys.” The girl looked at him with a wicked smile back.

You know it's gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

He spun her around once more. “Nothing else fits your mood?”
“Obviously not. We just had our 13th birthday, that’s only five more years! I’m ready to be old enough to be on my own.” She twirled around, her long dark hair fanning around her, mesmerizing Five.

“Can you wait that long?” He asked her, knowing well enough. She spun back around to meet him.
“Probably not. But if you don’t leave with me, then I’ll wait however long you need me to.” She replied with a dreamy sigh.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new?
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through

Five felt his chest tighten. “I hardly think we’re even close to being old enough to be on our own. Like you said, Eight, we just turned 13.”

Eight, or more recently named, “Lalette” frowned. “You’re starting to sound like dad. We’re not old enough to be on our own, we’re not ready for the world, I’m not ready to reach my full potential, you’re not ready to time travel. What next? 18 won’t be enough time to know enough? Well, of course not. We’re not allowed to go anywhere.”

“He’s right about one thing. You’re not reaching your full potential. You have the power to be Number 1 if you’d try just a little bit. Remember the Northern Bank job last year? You were surrounded and only then you even just skimmed the surface of your power. You could be a force of nature if you truly wanted to. Then dad couldn’t say anything about you not being ready to be on your own.” Five said, so knowingly.

“That’s it, I’m breaking up with you.” Lalette said bluntly, but meant it none. She went to let go of him, ending their dance. Five smiled endearingly, pulling her closer. “No, you’re not. You love me too much. Besides, no one else puts up with you like I do, Eight.”

Lalette’s face warmed as she smiled back at him, flustered. “I do admit, you are kinda cute. But you’re probably as tall as you’re going to ever get, and I want someone tall. Diego’s going to be tall and he tries to put up with me.”

Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was never ending
Oh, wouldn't it be nice?

“Oh, yeah, I can see it now. “I-I-I-I lo-lo-love- y-y-ou, Eig-Eig-Eight.”” Five mimicked his brother.

He knew that Two, “Diego”, had been crushing on Eight for a while now, thanks to Four, “Klaus”, selling his secret for an alibi. “Diego” thought Eight was the prettiest girl in the world and she told him he’d be a better leader than One, “Luther”. So of course he was in puppy love with her.

And it did make Five jealous, but only slightly. Because he was fairly confident that “Diego” would never be able to get to his level. Eight loved Five, she thought he was really cute and he didn’t ever side with dad (at least to his face) when it came to Eight’s lack of motivation.

“Diego” was a stuttering coward with three brain cells (maximum) that were too busy fighting each other than work together to give him a coherent thought.

He could curve anything airborne, mostly knives and he could hold his breath indefinitely. That was it. And the biggest flaw was that he was pathetically obsessed with dad’s approval. Always fighting with “Luther” and trying to compete for the leader role.

Five was smart, highly intelligent beyond “Diego”’s comprehension. He used his powers logically. And he and Eight just were two peas in a pod. Five was a shoo in. She only wanted him and only him.

Of course, if anything he needed to worry about Six, “Ben”.

“Lalette” and “Ben” were far more chummy than they used to be. But even then, “Ben” followed “Klaus”’s lead. And he was... Well, he probably wasn’t interested in girls. So it was likely “Ben” was the same.

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray
It might come true
Baby, then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
Oh, we could be married (oh, we could be married)
And then we'd be happy (and then we'd be happy)
Oh, wouldn't it be nice?

Eight lightly patted Five on the shoulder. “Stop it. He’s getting better, mom’s really helped his stutter. He barely stumbles over his words anymore.”
“Two’s a brain-dead, knife freak. You’re not going to fall in love with him.” Five rolled his eyes.
“I might, you don’t know that. So, you better stay in line, mister. And that’s Lalette to you.” She flashed him an impish smile as she stared up at him with devilish intent.

“The others can call you that, but you’ll always be Eight to me. Otherwise the number 13 wouldn’t mean anything.” Five smirked at her, his tone quieting as he knew where this was going. His eyes couldn’t choose between her eyes and her pretty lips.

He kissed her a few times before and he was already obsessed with her lips. He wanted her kisses day and night.

Just maybe this time he’d have the courage to kiss her first, instead of her taking the lead. But that was also another endearing trait about her that he loved. She was far more daring than him, if she wanted something, if you made her wait for too long, she’d go and get it herself.

She kissed him first and he fell head over heels in love with her (not like he wasn’t already infatuated with her) and every time she made the first move, he felt so grateful for it. Because as brave as he was on his own, the potential for her to not want what he did, and be rejected, was actually something that had his hands clammy and his heart palpitating.

But they kissed quite a few times now. She obviously liked him, and wanted to kiss him too. So his odds of being rejected were quite low. So maybe, just maybe, this time he could kiss her first. Or if not, maybe try to kiss her deeper. Maybe they could conquer first base completely? And by next year he could explore second base?

“I guess I’ll make an exception for you.” Eight’s voice was low and captivating as she angled her face up towards his more. She paused, waiting to see if he’d make the move.

He froze.
She giggled. “Maybe my super power, all along, was making the legendary Five Hargreeves hesitate?” She teased him, beguilingly.
Five’s face flushed, embarrassed. “I was just thinking.” He lied.
“Of what?” She countered, calling his bluff.

“This.” And he finally did it. Pressing his lips to hers, closing his eyes as he relished in how inviting and thrilling she felt.

Eight’s heart skipped a beat, her breath hitching.

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But let's talk about it
Oh, wouldn't it be nice?

She woke up with a startle, her phone ringing. The screen lit up her dark bedroom.

Falling asleep and waking up were always so dreadful. Because to dream was a gamble because there was always the chance it’d be about him. And however that dream turned out, it was far more gut-wrenching to wake up from it and be torn away from him once more. That being said, it had been quite a while since she had dreamt of him, or for the dream to be so bittersweet leaving her throat tight and her eyes damp. She had gotten better, she had grown up, she had left him in the past where he belonged, so why had this happened? Nothing had refreshed her memory recently so...

Oh, the phone was ringing.

April is calling....

It had better have been the most important news of her life and career to be calling at this time of night.

She turned and grabbed the phone and answered, very unenthusiastically.

“I’m so sorry to call so late, but I had to call you after I heard the news. I’m so very sorry, Lalette.”

“What are you talking about, April? I don’t know what you’re going on about.” Lalette groggily replied to her assistant.

“Oh-... You don’t know... I assumed your family would’ve gotten in touch with you by now... I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, especially like this, but your father just passed earlier today. It’s all over the news, it just broke. I’m so sorry, Lalette. I knew your relationship with him was very... tumultuous, but even then, he was your father, so I can’t even imagine how you feel.”

Lalette’s brain crashed. Was it the ambien? Was she dreaming? Something just wasn’t connecting because Reginald Hargreeves dying.... It just didn’t compute.

He could die?

He did die?

It was even more baffling that she didn’t feel immediate relief or indifference. She just felt... lost. She vowed to never see him ever again the day she left home at the age of 16. It had been 14 years since she saw or heard from him. He never even tried to contact her and she never wanted him to. She wanted to forget him, so maybe one day she’d no longer remember her childhood. She wanted to forget her family, her siblings, and that awful fucking person that was her legal guardian.

The man who bought her off her mother and raised her along her seven other siblings, knowing they’d be special. And they were. They all, besides Vanya, had supernatural abilities.

So Reginald created the Umbrella Academy. An elite private academy for special ability children born October 1, 1989 spontaneously without a biological father, and also not existing the day prior.

He acquired eight of those 43 children and raised them under a cold and unloving curriculum. He wanted to create a real life superhero team that saved the world from crime and doomsdays. He enlisted the help of his sentient, nearly human, pet chimp and a robot.

These eight children were subjected to heavy, scrutinous testing and then strict, exhausting education. To which involved several languages, combat of all types, and advanced subjects like psychology and how to manipulate and read a person. By the age 10, they all knew several languages, how to incapacitate and possibly murder a grown man with extensive and violent combat training themselves, along with advanced mathematics, science, chemistry, biology and anatomy, all the classic literature, as if they were prodigies.

Failure was never an option. But success was just “meets expectations”. It was ridiculous of their father to expect more than that. He never showed compassion, never even gave them names. They were named 1-8 based on the tests he did on them all as infants.

Only in their teens were they given names by their “mom”, a robot that could very well pass the Turing test. She was named Grace, but all the children called her their mother. It was the closest thing they had to it.

And Reginald hoped her “love” would keep the children in line.

It didn’t work.

They really fell apart after Ben’s passing. Especially when at his funeral, Reginald had no sympathy for them, in fact, blaming them for his death. If they were a better team, if they weren’t failures, he’d still be alive.

Lalette (8) was the first to leave at 16. Klaus (4) was in and out for years, until Reginald finally just banned him from the grounds. Allison (3) left shortly behind them around age 17 and Diego (2) and Vanya (7) both left at 18. Luther (1) never left.

Lalette’s reason for leaving was the suffocation she felt all her life. She always planned on leaving once she reached the legal age to. But when Five disappeared and a year later, Ben died, she left sooner. She was not prepared for it, but she did it. She’d prove that bastard father of hers wrong.

And she had. Or she thought so. She knew deep down that he didn’t care if she made it out alive. While that would’ve been truly vindicating, it was pointless to strive for it.

So the news of his death threw her for a loop.

“The NYC police just reported it to the news not too long ago, so far it looks like he went peacefully and there was no foul play.”

“Turns out the fucker was mortal all along.” Lalette muttered, more to herself.

“I’m sorry, what... What was that?”

Lalette picked herself back up. That was a whole can of worms she never wanted to open up. “I, uh, I’m sorry, I’ll call you back. I’m going to see if I can get a hold of one of my family.”

“Yes, of course.”

Lalette immediately searched her father’s name on google, and it was true. Several articles by the biggest news sites had reported on it.

Billionaire, Philanthropist, Dean of the Umbrella Academy, Sir Reginald Hargreeves dies at age 84

Umbrella Academy Owner, Billionaire, Reginald Hargreeves found dead at New York Residence this morning

NYPD announced the death of Eccentric Billionaire, Umbrella Academy Creator, Sir Reginald Hargreeves at his home this morning. No evidence of foul play...

Billionaire, owner of Prestigious “Umbrella Academy”, adopted father of actress Allison Hargreeves and music star Lalette “Lollie” Hargreeves, Sir Reginald Hargreeves dead at age 84

It was true. He was dead.

He was dead.

She wished the day would come since her early childhood, and yet now that it had come, it didn’t feel as gratifying as she hoped it’d be.

She hovered over the call button on her sister Vanya’s number.

And where to start with my sister, Lalette, or Number 8, or right now under her new stage name, “Lollie”? First off, what sort of name is “Lalette”, you might ask? When “mom” gave us our names, Lalette hated each name presented to her by mom. Lucille, Jessica, Morena, Brittany, Stacy, Fatima, Selena, Christina, Julia, Jasmine, Eleanore, Adrien, Isabella, Reagan, Stevie-- Nothing was good enough for her, each new name brought her to tears with frustration. “That’s not my name!” She’d scream at mom. Even if mom is a robot, she still had the patience of a saint with that girl. “So what is your name, then, Eight?”
After a week of careful consideration she came back with her new, unique name. “Lalette! My name is Lalette!”
Allison laughed at her, Diego refused to call her that entirely, and Luther reprimanded her for wanting to make a mockery of the team for having such a ridiculous name.
But she stood her ground. She refused to answer to anything else, even on missions- until no one had any other choice but to call her her new name regardless of how eccentric it was.
She has been often asked how she came up with the name and over the years her answers were about the same: A shrug and a “It just came to me.”
And if that's not enough to show you how stubborn and unique she is, then let me continue further.
She was the golden child in sheep’s clothing. In my opinion, she had the best abilities out of them all. She was a great fighter and hurricane all wrapped into one. If not for her slow growth when we were kids, she’d be Number 1 instead of Luther. Her power is great, and I will agree with dad. She has the potential to be the most powerful super in the world. Although, she does have her shortcomings. She doesn’t know what planning is. Storm in, ask questions later and deal with the consequences later. Although she was so combat intellectual and her powers backed her up, she never had a mishap on missions, only loud arguments with Luther and dad afterwards.
But then Five disappeared. And everything had changed. She wasn’t the golden egg anymore, just a child acting out her grief.
Just like when we were young children, she’s stunted once more. Always a ghost of who she was when he was still here. I talked enough about Five already but talking about Lalette is to talk about Five. I’d compare Luther and Allison to them, but Five and Lalette were still in their own league when it came to incest technicalities because it wasn’t just young love. It was more than that. They were always together even from a young age. Dad had even noted their friendship stemming from our toddler years. The moment their brains developed enough to form bonds, they had one forged in titanium.
I remember how they used to play house. Five was the husband, who was a “quantum physics” professor who worked hard so his wife, Lalette, could be happy. She was a house-wife who loved her music. I remember they would be playing around the house and he would walk into the room saying “Honey, I’m home. Here’s the latest Christina Aguilera CD, like you asked.” and she’d come skipping in with the play clothes mom made for her and she’d kiss him on the cheek. “Oh, darling, I love it!”
“Anything for you, dear.”
And while the rest of our siblings used to call them weird for pretending to be married, I thought it was cute and in return they’d let me pretend to be their daughter.
Once we got to our preteens, it was obvious that their pretend house game had developed into a real thing. They both always tried to convince the rest of us that they were nothing more than brother and sister. But they were always together. At one point they spent all their free time together, isolating themselves away from us lesser beings.
And even then, they’d try to include me when no one else would, like when we were younger. But it was easy to see that they saw me like an outsider. They were a team, smarter, stronger and more powerful than the rest of us. It was them vs. the world. “Team Thirteen”, they’d call themselves. Since 5+8=13. And they had plenty of “secret meetings” for Team Thirteen members only. And their two numbers added up to it, so no one else could join.
After Five disappeared, it devastated Lalette. But she continued to grow, which was dad’s way of monitoring her state.
See, her powers are quite complicated to explain, and I’m sure she doesn’t even completely understand them. But with her ability to manipulate and control energy, she can manipulate her own life energy and body. When we were infants, when dad was doing the most testing on us, she first did it. It took months for him to figure it out, assuming she had some sort of genetic disorder of some sort to finally figure out that his testing was stressing her out to the point of her powers working on their own to self preserve herself. She was frozen in time in a sense. She stopped aging for several months until dad stopped all the invasive tests. It’s a defense mechanism her body has in times of intense stress. Dad has yet to come up with a conclusion as to why it does it. But the fact that she didn’t do it when Five left meant she was still fit to train and go on missions, in dad’s book.
But truly, she wasn’t. After Five, her next closest relationship was Klaus. By that time Klaus had been dabbling in substances and alcohol. Huffing paint in the basement, stealing from dad’s scotch cabinet, and sneaking out to find more to do.
Lalette tagged along.
It helped numb her long enough to continue on. That is, until the year after that, when Ben died on the Jennifer Mission. Dad’s less than sympathetic speech about the team’s failure and how they essentially killed Ben was the final domino. I think his death finally finalized Five’s. Not that he died, or maybe he did. We don’t know what happened. But she finally realized he wasn’t coming back and there wasn’t enough booze or coke or pills to make her think otherwise.
And once more, she was frozen in time. She barely came out of her room except for missions, or sneaking out with Klaus, but then dad pulled her from the team when she was unfocused and kept making mistakes, almost getting herself or the others hurt or killed.
She never wanted to be a hero, she just wanted to be with Five.
Eventually she came out of it, she seemed to get better. Or so it seemed. But she was just putting on an act. Something she’s gotten really good at.
She never got over him. And she tried to numb herself with sex, drugs, and drinking. She got in more trouble sneaking boys in the house more than showing up to breakfast hungover. Dad didn’t care she was poisoning herself, but she was jeopardizing our secrets, letting strangers in the house. But he did eventually send her and Klaus to a facility.
Her first trip to rehab was enough and she stopped using drugs as regularly.
She still went out to parties and drank until she couldn’t feel the emptiness and couldn’t remember where she was. But that was easier to clear out of her system by breakfast and she didn’t get in trouble.
It’s been 15 years since then and she’s finally healing. Or I think so. She’s aging again, but it only started recently, when I noticed she was even taller than before. I asked her about it, and she just shrugged. “No one can stay 15 forever,” she said while looking barely a day over 16.
16 going on 29. At least she’s healing. To an extent.
Instead of drugs and drinking, she’s addicted to her work and forgetting the rest of us exist. But I wouldn’t be surprised if she still uses coke to stay awake to do everything she’s involved with.
She still has yet to commit to someone. Instead of boys who remind her of the only boy she ever loved, she’s into whatever pretty boy celebrity that likes that she’s a 28 year old stuck in a teenage girl’s body. It’s not illegal that way.
But it’s never more than a hookup to her but now instead of sneaking through her bedroom window, it’s elevators to someone’s million dollar penthouse.
And don’t think I don’t love her. I love her immensely. Just like when we were kids, she always wants to make me feel included, that I’m just as special as her. She offers to help me buy a better apartment, to help me move to California-- Whatever money can buy, she wants to do it. But I really think it’s just her way of showing her success. She made it big and she wants to let everyone know.
But I think it’s mostly her trying to show she’s moved on from Five. Which, I believe her but I don’t think she’s done evolving from him. I don’t think she’s stopped loving him, she just stopped waiting for him. It shows in her work, it shows in how she speaks, how she carries herself. All of us were so worried about her, and everyone-- Mostly Diego, started to baby her. And now she’s trying to show that even though she’s still a kid, that she’s not and that she’s her own person.
But I know that if he were to randomly appear, she’d revert back to the kid she was when he was here. As if she was always that little girl standing in the hallway, staring into his empty bedroom, looking for signs that he’s not really gone-- Waiting for him to appear right in front of her, and say “Honey, I’m home.”

It had been two years since Vanya published her autobiography. And it had also been two years since Lalette had spoken to Vanya.

She felt betrayed, gutted--lied to.

Did Vanya truly feel that way about her? Sure, that was okay. She had a right to her own opinions, but to never say anything? To just let her continue on, for what? Writing material?

And was she right?

Possibly, maybe. Probably. But to publish it? To let the world into her life.

To let the whole world know she was in love with her brother? To psychoanalyze her and put it in a book?

That was something Vanya had no right to publish.

No, she couldn’t reach out to her. That was far too awkward. She scrolled down her contacts to Allison. A harder pass. More than anything Allison probably had her number blocked. So why did she still have her saved in her phone?

It had been closer to 5 years since they spoke. And that was at an afterparty after some awards show. It was... less than pleasant.

They both knew where the other stood. Allison just hated Lalette for unknown reasons, but always did. Lalette could never do anything right in her eyes and she’d bully her for it. Which was hilarious to Lalette because she knew she was better than Allison. She crawled her way up to where she was now, on her own. She did it all without powers, reputation. Allison rumored her way up to the top. That wasn’t surprising, since she had done it all her life to get what she wanted. And yet she hated Lalette for just having natural talent.

Well, what else was Lalette to do? Luther was on the moon. Not like she’d talk to him anyways, she saw him just as much as she did dad. She’d be better off if he died along with dad.

Diego’s number changed constantly since he bounced around jobs and apartments. And Diego? Well, it had been several years as well since they saw each other. After getting kicked out of the police academy for trying to take matters into his own hands, he was all around the place trying to stay afloat while doing his Great Value superhero shit. Not like he was much better than Luther. The only difference being that he hated their father. But he’d leap off board at the first chance to get dad’s respect.

Luther worshiped dad. He was always right, he was always doing what was best, he always had good intentions. Dad made him Number One, so he was the leader. A shit one, at that, but he was a dick with a dick up his ass, preening to fit another one up there.

More than anything, Diego just held a grudge against dad for not making him Number One. Because underneath it all, he still seeked his approval. But that never came.

Going down the line of siblings left, it was just Klaus.

And Klaus didn’t have a phone. Maybe a burner here and there, but not for long.

Any time Lalette made a visit to New York, she knew where to find Klaus. Or he found her.

Alleys, gay clubs, raves, rehab, the hospital, the morgue, or jail.

So who was left? Calling the house and getting Pogo on the other end?

He was nearly as terrible as dad was. Maybe worse, since he saw their father’s flaws and at some points, tried to lessen the hurt-- But most of the time he just looked the other way or made some bullshit excuse up for it. He knew Reginald was a piece of shit dad, but overlooked it because dad was his master.

She’d have to see them all again anyways, so why was she so scared to call any of them?

With a few quick texts to April, Lalette turned over and laid in bed for a few more hours until her ambien wore off.

Chapter 2 Chapter Text

And there she was again. The large mansion still stood tall, but without a large crowd to welcome home heroes, Reginald didn’t care to keep it clean and shiny.

Paint was dull and dark with age, chipping off in places. The windows were all covered with layers of dirt and grime. The black iron gate showed its age as well with all the rust.

Lalette didn’t bother to linger out front, going inside with her train of luggage. The door was unlocked, to no surprise.

An achy pang rang through her chest. Anxiety flooded her brain.

Seeing the inside, seeing her family. Pogo, mom... Deep down she knew she’d feel regret for leaving. Or she’d be met with memories of her past.

The foyer was the same as always. Dark tones all over. A deep red rug that ran from the door up to the flight of stairs.

The dark mahogany table in the center of the entrance that held a giant centerpiece vase, and above it, several meters up was a huge, lavish chandelier.

Any light that came into the room were dim, warm toned wall lights.

It was always dark and unwelcoming. Which, maybe that’s what dad wanted. He didn’t want the house to be inviting. It wasn’t meant to be.

The first room shone no sign of life.

“It’s going to be all right. You’re stronger than the others, I bet it’ll be a tickle to you.” She could barely hear his whisper over the loud buzzing of the tattoo gun.

Right there, at the entrance of the house. Two, Three, and Six huddled up on the opposite side of the room, all sniffling and trembling from their tattoos.

“I know you’re just trying to make me feel better. If One over there can barely handle it, who says I can? What if I get overwhelmed and break the machine? Dad’s going to be livid. He’ll probably make me get a “stick and poke” of it, just to punish me.” Eight whispered back to him, while she kept her eyes on the tall blond boy in the chair, nearly faint.

Five’s trembling hand gently caressed over her arm. Trying to be discreet about it. “I won’t let him do that to you. Do you want to trade places? I’ll let you see that it won’t hurt.”

Eight finally turned her head to look into his green eyes. He looked so calm and put together for a 12 year old.

“Dad wouldn’t let you. Besides, that won’t matter. Your poker face is too good, that wouldn’t help me. Maybe if I feel myself get out of control, I’ll just look over at you. Maybe that’ll make me cool down.”
Five smiled softly at her. “If that’s what you want to do, then do it. Keep your eyes on me the whole time if you have to.”

Lalette knew coming back would resurface some old memories. His memory would be all over this place.

It was a big reason why she wanted out of there.

Did anyone even come home? Was Luther still stranded on the moon?

Hopefully.

And hopefully Diego never got the message. (Although he probably heard the police scanner for it.) And hopefully Allison was too big of a movie star to come home. And maybe Klaus didn’t get the message, coked out somewhere in an alley, or a morgue (which he had been found many times). And hopefully Vanya couldn’t bear to revisit the house she hated so much.

Hopefully Lalette would be the only idiot to show up.

“Look who actually showed up.”

Or so she hoped.

Lalette took a few steps further to look into the living room. The largest room of the entire block of house. White marble flooring, floor to ceiling windows. A bar on one side, a library on another, a glass cabinet filled with father’s trophies on another, and another in the center had the fireplace.... Along with the photorealistic portrait of Five staring at any inhabitants that came to warm up at the fire. The only thing in the lit up room that made it feel small and dark. She felt his cold, dead eyes stare at her. She tried her best to ignore it.

Diego was there in the living room, standing there like he was waiting for someone to come in.

He looked older than Lalette remembered. But that had been a long time. He looked tired, paranoid as ever. He wore his normal “action outfit”. Or that’s what she called it. A black tight shirt with his tactical over-the-chest knife holders. Then his black military pants, and boots. Like a wannabe special-ops soldier. He had a new face scar since she saw him last and his hair was shorter.

He was a tall, built Mexican man with soft, but manly features. Black short hair and deep set dark eyes, brown skin, and an exaggerated cleft chin.

He looked older than he should’ve been. But they all would be compared to her.

But once again, Lalette hadn’t seen him in quite a long time.

“I’m just as surprised you showed up either.” Lalette said, after taking a moment to fully process his appearance.

She was unsure how to approach him. He seemed open and unthreatened in his body language, but his face and the past made Lalette hesitant to be inviting.

The door opened and Diego walked out wide eyed at who bailed him out of jail. “Holy shit.”

Lalette shifted her cross-body purse tighter across herself. “Holy shit is right.-- Come on, I’m starving.” She turned to lead the way out. Diego stumbled after his sister, completely stunned seeing her after she left for California quite a few years prior.

“H-h-..How did you know?” He asked, following her out to the parking lot.
“V.” She replied curtly, pulling her keys out of her pocket.

“Son of a bitch, I...I’m sorry that she dragged you out here, I was going to put a lien on my car. You didn’t have to bail me out.” Diego grimaced that Vanya kept sticking her nose where she shouldn’t. It was a mistake to call her in the first place.

“Yeah, a beat to shit 96 Dodge Stratus. Okay, Diego.” Lalette clicked the button on her key fob and the lights of a white 2012 Mercedes C300.

“How- Is this yours?” Diego paled at a car he would never be able to afford in his entire life with how things were going for him. How the hell did Lalette afford such a car?

“Last minute rental. They tried to offer me a Ford Focus and I almost threw up at the idea.” Lalette replied with a roll of her eyes at the audacity of some people.

Diego almost felt an invisible force try to stop him from getting into the car. Like some supernatural phenomenon deemed him too poor to be allowed such luxury.

But he only hesitated before sliding into the squeaky smooth seat. That new car smell, the brand new shine of the console, the lack of dirt or broken pieces.

“Where are you thinking? Fast food? Somewhere sit down-y? Or do you just want me to drop you off wherever you’re staying now?” Lalette asked before starting the car up.

“No, no, I already owe you enough, I... You can eat, I’ll just-”

“Sit and watch me eat? It’s fine, Diego. I don’t expect you to pay me back.” Lalette started up the car and the quite smooth engine almost had Diego moaning in ecstasy. He’d never admit he liked the car, but this was the fanciest thing he had experienced since they were kids.

“No, that’s not right. I’ll manage to come up with the money, I promise. You already did enough coming out here for me, it’s- It’s not right that I don’t pay you back.” Diego shook his head fervently.

“It’s what siblings are for. Don’t sweat it, D.”

“Hey, I’m just here to see what dad left us. Like you are, I’m sure.” Then Diego smiled, showing his toothy grin. “Come here,” he held his arms open, welcoming her.

Lalette let out a tense breath, feeling somewhat relieved for a second there. She met him in the living room and gave him a hug. She felt so short and small compared to him. He towered over her and was quite wider than her.

But he was warm. He always gave good hugs. Because they didn’t come often, so when he did it, you know he meant it.

It had been so long since Lalette saw him. She missed their bond. The overprotective, older brother and his naive little sister who never could do anything right, but he’d kill whoever threatened her.

The magazine plopped down in front of her. Lalette flinched, startled. A tabloid magazine, with bold yellow words, “Rise to fame, fall to disgrace! Singer/Ex Umbrella Academy hero caught without decency at L.A. Club!”

And on the cover, was a picture of Lalette leaving the infamous “Playhouse” nightclub in Los Angeles. She was barely standing on her own, heavily relying on the young man she had her arms around.

“The fuck is this?! Huh?” Diego seethed, confronting his little sister at the table at the continental breakfast at the hotel Lalette was staying at in New York for a promotional gig.

She supposed Diego was talking about her lack of clothing in the picture. A black and silver halter vest top with some black, very lowrise flared jeans that were very worn looking, which is why they were so expensive.

Her top was riding up and the first three buttons were undone. It was a sheer enough top to see the pricks and outlines of her nipples.

Her teased red and green hair was messy and tangled, her makeup was creasing and smudging. She looked worse for wear. Lalette recalled that outfit and the beginning of the night, the Playhouse and the guy she was wrapped around, not so much. Although, she did wake up in his bed, and she was almost ashamed to say she couldn’t recall his name.

“Can you be more specific, brother dear? Perhaps in a quieter voice?” Lalette asked in a ragged and tired voice, while looking up at Diego over her sunglasses-- Because the lighting in the hotel’s public spaces were far too bright, even after the hair of the dog and big boost from her powers.

She looked as she did the morning after this picture was taken. She had to admit, the reunion celebration with Klaus was a bit more than she expected. But it was Klaus, so she had it coming. She wasn’t sure if she should’ve been worried that she had no idea where he was.

“Don’t act fucking naive, the fuck are you doing walking around looking like a- like a fucking prostitute? When you were younger, I would’ve looked the other way, but on the front page of magazines while I’m at the Fill’n Chill getting coffee? Do you know how this looks for the rest of us?” Diego prattled on, peeved at her.

“Oh, right. I’m sure it really affects your reputation, Great Value Batman. How will the citizens take you serious behind your several assault and battery charges, and your expulsion from the police academy and your most successful sister is out there living her best life looking like a fucking rockstar? You’re right, I should’ve thought it out before I thought about living my own life.” Lalette rolled her eyes while waving her hands around as she spoke so sarcastically.

Diego sighed and looked around, as he gave himself a moment to navigate the conversation in his favor, while caving in to her.

“Look, I didn’t say you can’t live your life, but you’re 25 now. Don’t you think it’s a bit....immature to be going out and dressing like a slut? I’m just trying to think of you and your future. What are you going to think, years down the road and see things like this still trailing after you? Your music career is really taking off, so don’t you think it’s time to grow up and act your age?” Diego leaned over to her, talking in a softer tone for only them to hear. He tried to sound lenient but assertive, like a big brother should.

“I’m a rockstar, Deeg. It’s all about that sex, drugs, and rock and roll, all right? In my world, steaming your best suit and calling everyone ma’am and sir doesn’t get you to the top. You do it by being an image and luckily my most authentic personality is trending right now. So when I go out showing my tits, or get caught fucking some guy in my car and paps take photos, it’s maintaining my image. It’s not like yours, maintaining your fragile ego and evading arrest everytime your hero act gets you in trouble. But it’s doable. And it’s making me insanely rich. So you know, when I need advice, I’ll ask, and I’d be more willing to ask Klaus, definitely not you.”

“Jesus, Lette. All your life, all you’ve ever done is try to prove you’re not a kid, but all I see right now, isn’t a 25 year old. It’s some little girl rebelling against her daddy.” Diego spoke indignantly.

Lalette’s eyebrows twitched but her face stayed neutral as her lips curled slightly. “You can go fuck yourself, Number Two. You know, at least Luther acknowledges and might just enjoy the stick dad shoved up his ass. You on the other hand refuse to admit you’re still butthurt that Luther’s dad’s favorite, but are just as rigid and pathetic as if one day he’s just gonna hug you and tell you he’s proud when he never will. Dad doesn’t love you, he doesn’t love any of us. I’m so glad I figured that out a long time ago, and I’m not miserable like you and wallowing in my daddy issues. I profit off them and I’m miles above the rest of you degenerates.”

“Is that you or Five talking?” Diego rebutted, before he let himself think and let her words go to heart.

Lalette’s jaw clenched as she finally showed her resentment. She stood up from the table and stared at Diego with enough vexing that he felt as if she towered over him now, even if he had to lower his head to look her in the eyes. He knew he finally hit a chord, like intended. “He wasn’t the only one who saw through your pathetic act. I bet you’re the reason why he hasn’t come back yet, who’d want to come back to your overcompensating hero shtick in hopes daddy might love you one day? Don’t bother reaching out when I’m in town. I’d hate to see any photos of us together getting published. Wouldn’t want to ruin my image.” And she left.

And that was the last time she saw him. They were just shy of 30 now.

“I’ve missed you, sis. Been busy being a big time pop star?” Diego asked her, letting the hug linger only for a second longer.

“I missed you too, Diego.” Lalette smiled, more genuine this time. But it didn’t take too long for the obvious drift to come back.

“How’d it happen?” Lalette asked once enough silence passed.

“The coroner’s report says natural causes, most likely heart failure. He was getting up there in age.” Diego said, trailing off. By his tone, Lalette knew better than to think that to be his only thought. “Or so they say?” She asked.

“Luther thinks it was a murder. Be wary of him, he’s looking for any reason to blame one of us.” He looked over his shoulder, back to the doorway towards the dining area. More bad news.

“He’s here?” Lalette grimaced. Diego looked as thrilled as her. “Yep. Trust me, you’re not the only one who wished he was still stuck up on the moon.”

“Allison won’t. Is she here?” Lalette didn’t care to hide her displeasure of their sister.

“Yeah, she’s upstairs. When was the last time you saw her? Did you two ever meet up while up there in the famous people's city?” Diego always made it known that he turned his nose up at California and the residents of it. Always had a comment to make.

“It’s been a while. I think she’s made it clear she doesn’t really care to see me. Which is fine. The less she can make rumors about.” Lalette’s jaw tightened. Oh, how she didn’t look forward to that reunion.

“Has anyone else showed up? Vanya, Klaus?” She replied.

“I think Klaus is stalking around looking for something of value to sell for drugs. Vanya hasn’t dared to show her face yet, thankfully.” Diego frowned. Lalette wasn’t mad about the book, just disappointed, but even then. Vanya was still family. She was ordinary, it was about time she’d tried to feel some spotlight on her face. Was it the right way to go about it? Probably not.

“Come on Diego, Vanya-”

“Don’t even get me started on her. She sold lies to feel special for once and none of it’s even true.” He pointed menacingly at her, warning her to not argue with him.

“It wasn’t all lies. A lot of it was true, she just didn’t have to say it.” Lalette tried one more attempt to get him to lighten up. After that, she’d let it go. “Besides, if it was her way to cope with all the crazy shit she grew up with, then-”

Diego rolled his eyes and even did a violent shrug and growly sigh. “Don’t give me that Shrink 101 shit. You went to college, I fucking get it, but don’t think I’m gonna fall for that bullshit. She grew up normal, she didn’t have to go through half the shit we did. Just face the facts, Lette, she sold us out for a fucking dime and her book barely sold for shit!” With that he turned off and stormed off towards the kitchen.

“It’s been nice seeing you too, Diego.” Lalette sighed, after taking one more look around the living room. Her eyes lit up at her one saving grace.

The bar was nice and dusty. Dad’s nice scotch still sealed away behind the crystal cabinet. Of course, if Klaus showed up, it wouldn’t be there for much longer. She’d have to get into it before too long.

It would be the only way to survive anyways.

Then she gave one final glance to the thing glaring at her since she entered the room. She finally gave it her full attention.

“I guess everything around here’s still the same as it ever has been.”

She hated the portrait. The moment dad hung it up. She could barely go into that room ever since the day, but she never could bring herself to get rid of it.

It wasn’t him. It shared his likeness. His dark brown hair, neatly swept to the side-- Always kept short. His piercing green eyes staring down at her with bored interest. He sat there, turned to the front. Even his two freckles in the hollow of his right cheek were captured, that looked like a deep dimple. Something Lalette found charming about it.

But it held no love or passion. It was a cold impersonation of him. Maybe the ideal version that dad never got.

The longer she studied it, the emptiness of the cluttered house made her claustrophobic.

There was no way she’d stay sober in this dry house. Between her and Klaus they’d run out of liquor by the end of the week, and it was Saturday.

She felt an old hunger start to revive. She felt herself wanting to find Klaus and bond over a drug deal and maybe crushing up something and snorting it. To feel that rush of adrenaline. To feel numb, to not feel worry or pain. She didn’t hunger for the drugs, but the feeling it gave her. If she found something else that brought it out, she’d do it in a heartbeat.

Anything that beat the other old desire in her.

She grabbed her luggage and trudged up the stairs, hoping to find her room the same as it was the day she was kicked out. Not even allowed to pack or grab any mementos.

Going up the next floor, she had the left wing of the balcony. Mom’s corner.

Her own little piece of home. Dozens of paintings hung up on the wall. Copies of the famous works of several artists of their time. Countrysides, ballrooms, a quiet town, a cat sitting on a table, a woman sitting for a portrait. Each painting had its own light to illuminate it.

And there was a chair with a built-in charging port, facing the wall. And there she was sitting.

A petite, white woman in a cliche 1950’s housewife outfit. Usually a white button-down blouse with a colorful skirt and a polka dot apron. She had shiny blonde hair pinned back into a half do. She was feminine and soft. She always wore a soft red lip shade, with simple and modest makeup. She wore simple pearl earrings.

“Mom.” Lalette found herself walking that way without thinking about it. And odd numbness overwhelmed her.

Was it to cope with her biggest regret? Never coming back for mom?

She was a robot programmed to love her eight children, to care for them like a mother should. But as human as she acted, it always had a tone of AI intelligence to it. It was always the smallest thing, things an AI would have no way of knowing.

She was a robot programmed by Reginald. Anything she said or did was because of him. It was always a glaring fact about her.

But she was still their mom.

She named them, bathed them, read them stories, tucked them in, gave first aid and kissed their injuries. She always had a compassionate smile and love in her robotic eyes. The only love those children would ever know for a long time.

“Mom.” Lalette repeated, louder this time as she approached closer.

Grace turned her head, from admiring her paintings and looked at Lalette with a dazzling, white smile. “Lalette, darling!” Mom greeted, sweetly like Lalette never left. “Are you hungry? I have some cookies in the oven.”

Oh. Right. She was a robot.

As loving as she was, she never was good with time. Maybe it was a loophole in her program. To recognize time, was to accidentally hurt feelings, and she couldn’t do that. She was made to love.

Lalette saw her mother and yearned for motherly compassion, only to feel neglectful. Here mother was acting like the 14 years was 14 minutes and Lalette never came to visit, never fought to see her.

All alone in this big, empty house. No children to care for. An old prick of a man who treated her like a bucket of bolts unless she was useful.

And a chimp that was a shadow of that old man.

“I’d love that, mom. No raisins, right?” Lalette asked, trying to stay cheerful.

Grace smiled knowingly. “Of course. But, they are oatmeal peanut butter cookies-- Oh, don’t give me that look, you know how much Five loves peanut butter.”

Lalette’s smile vanished completely. She was so pathetic. Even the mention of his name shut her down as if his name and memory wasn’t constantly in her head. “Mom... Five’s gone, remember? It’s been 17 years.”

Grace’s smile faltered just for a fraction of a second before going back to her default setting.

“Oh, that’s right... Well, I’m sure your other brothers and sisters will enjoy them.”

“Lalette?”

Another voice she hadn’t heard in years.

But not one she was thrilled about. But since that day was all about reunions... She’d give it a go.

Lalette turned around and walked back towards her sister. Grace went back to admiring her pictures as if Lalette never came and disturbed her.

And there she was.

“Allison.” Lalette greeted, politely enough.

Allison smiled and held her arms out. “Look at you, you barely look a day over 13.”

“Yeah...You said that last time we bumped into each other.” Lalette ignored her invitation for a hug. It irked her that Allison made that comment. She knew that Allison had planned it just for that reason.

“And it’s still true. You’re like a moment in time, trapped forever.” She smiled like that wasn’t a passive-aggressive jab. Like she hadn’t used it as an insult for the longest time. Like she didn’t know how much Lalette hated being reminded of her accidental gift.

Allison’s hair was tightly curled, long and tossed back out of her face. The dark rich brown was starting to grow out from the warm honey blonde she dyed it a couple years prior.

But she was as beautiful as ever.

Her rich brown skin was glowing, and soft. Her eyes were surrounded by long, thick lashes. She had no imperfection in sight. Her figure was still tall and slender, but curvaceous in all the right places. She wore a royal blue blouse and black dress pants, and black heeled boots, making her even taller than she already was.

Pettily enough Lalette liked to believe that Allison was so evil in nature that she wore heels to intimidate her because of Lalette’s height complex. She was the next shortest after Vanya. But an inch and a half wasn’t that much of a difference since after that came Allison, who was 5’8”. And the tallest of them all being Luther at a whopping 6’6”.

But it stemmed mostly from Lalette’s biggest complex yet; Age.

Age equated to height. She stayed the same, while everyone got older and taller and threw it in her face.

“Although, I see how you’re trying to look older. A nice blend of gen z and millennial ambiguity.” Allison’s smile started to fade to her tight-lipped judgemental face. She gestured towards Lalette.

Lalette bit the inside of her bottom lip as she kept her composure. No big words were thrown yet. She had to stay civil until Allison wasn’t.

Lalette waved over her attire.

Which, she’d admit, was a show of her success. Not that she wanted to throw it in anyone’s face, but if one was to ask... She wasn’t the failure father made her out to be. She rose from the ashes of her rock-bottom and made it to the top. She worked menial jobs, after menial jobs, supporting herself through college. Days of no sleep to keep on top of work and school. Then, along came internships and kissing up to asshole bosses until she could climb higher than them.

Years and years of hardship. She went from couch-hopping, to living in her car, to her first big move and her first apartment (with roommates), then to her very own living space, and now to her big penthouse apartment.

She never wanted to fully commit and own property. But she had been in her apartment for three years now. She had her three cars. Her jeep, her corvette and her mustang.

She worked with nearly every famous songwriter under the sun.

She had enough money to last her a lifetime. Not as much as her father would, but she was successful.

She wasn’t the cheap, drugged out whore he said she’d be. She was a critically acclaimed whore. She won many awards, she wrote many multi-platinum hits, a couple albums, and even had two diamond albums. She sold out stadiums, she had millions of fans, she nearly had her own religion from it, any mention of her name had stocks rising. She was successful. She was recognized as one of the biggest music stars in the market right now.

She made it.

And she subtly made it obvious with her clothes.

Chapter 3 Chapter Text

“I guess we should get this started.” Luther stood up from one of the couches. After an hour or so of fucking around, everyone was together. The reunion was underwhelming to say the least. Luther was polite and timid, trying to say hello to Lalette. Which her distant response said enough. There was no connection for them to re-establish.

“Hello, Lalette. You’re looking-... Well.”
“I see you’re still stiff with dad’s dick up your ass.”

And Vanya’s, nearly the same. That wound was fresher.
“It’s-... It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
“Not nearly enough.”

Lalette bopped her knee up and down, anxiously waiting for a chance to break open a bottle of scotch that Klaus hadn’t already taken.

Diego was sitting opposite of Allison in one of the chairs. Vanya was sitting in the middle of one of the couches, while Lalette sat on the other.
Klaus was at the bar, only half listening.

“So I figured we could have some sort of memorial service in the courtyard at sundown. Say a few words, dad’s favorite spot.” Luther said, without any confidence. He was never leadership material. But dad said he was.

“Dad had a favorite spot?” Allison wondered.
“You know, under the oak tree? We used to sit out there all the time, you guys never did?” Luther said as if they were the weird ones for not “bonding” with dad.

“I would’ve figured it was the torture room.” Lalette muttered, already off to a bad start.
“It wasn’t a torture roo-”
“Refreshments, anyone? Tea, scones, little cucumber sandwiches?” Klaus juggled two glasses and a lit cigarette. He had none of the things he offered.

“What? No, and put that out. Dad didn’t allow smoking in here.” Luther scowled.
“Is that my skirt?” Allison noted, looking at Klaus. He was indeed wearing a faux-leather knee length skirt. It went well with his dirty open jacket, no shirt look.
“Oh yeah, I was in your room. It’s a bit dated, but it’s breathy on the bits.” Klaus did a small pose, while taking another drag from his cigarette.

“Listen up, we still have important things to discuss, all right?” Luther tried to reel it back in. As if he ever had control of his team.
“Like what?” Diego asked, cheekily, so knowingly.
“Like the way he died.” Luther said, proving Diego right.

“I don’t understand. They said dad died of a heart attack.” Vanya said. Klaus plopped down next to her. “Yeah, from the coroner.” Luther confirmed.
“Wouldn’t they know?”
“Theoretically.”

Of course Diego was right.
Lalette pursed her lips, trying to stop from smiling. It was hilarious-- Maybe even sad if she thought about it for too long, but Luther deserved it.

“Theoretically?” Allison echoed Luther, questioning him.
“Well, at the very least something happened. The last time I talked to dad, he sounded strange.”

Lalette rolled her eyes and shook her head.
Klaus tossed his head back and gurgled whatever drink he concocted up. “Oh, quelle surprise.”

“Strange how?” Allison followed up, giving Luther the benefit of the doubt, for whatever reason.

“He sounded on edge. He told me to be careful who to trust.” Luther said, like that was serious.

Diego stood up. “Luther, dad was a paranoid old man, who was starting to lose what marbles he had left.”
“No, he must’ve known something was going to happen.” Luther denied, flat out. He turned towards Klaus. “Look, I know you don’t like to do it, but I need you to talk to dad.”

Klaus frowned. “I can’t just call dad in the afterlife and be like, “Dad, could you just stop playing tennis with Hitler for a moment and take a quick call?”
Lalette smiled, very amused by Klaus’ retort. Dad would indeed be the one to befriend Hitler, or Mao Zedong. Or the Columbine shooters. “At least they had the confidence to go through with their ideals.”

“Why not, you do it all the time?” Luther countered. “I’m not in the right--- frame of mind!”
“You’re high?” Allison accused.

“Yeah, I mean, how are you not, listening to this nonsense?” Klaus laughed.
“Well, sober up, this is important.” Luther doubled down. “Then there’s the issue of the missing monocle.”
“Who gives a shit about a worthless monocle?” Diego muttered under his breath. “Exactly. It is worthless. So whoever took it, I think it was personal. Someone close to him, someone with a grudge.”

“Fucking hell.” Lalette said under her breath. She definitely wasn’t about to get roped into some Scooby-Doo mystery.

“Where are you going with this?” Klaus asked. Diego smiled wryly. “Oh, isn’t it obvious, Klaus? He thinks one of us killed dad.”

And the way Luther looked around like a gulping fish out of water, it was obvious. But he couldn’t take the heat he was dishing out. How pathetic.
“You do!” Klaus whined. “How could you think that?” Vanya was in disbelief.

“Great job, Luther. What a way to lead.” Diego sardonically said to him before walking off.
Lalette got up, ready to follow his lead. Maybe she’d doordash something to eat once she got to her room.

“That-That’s not what I mean. I-”
Klaus got up. “You're a crazy man, crazy.” He also left.
“We’re not finished here, come back-” “I’m just gonna go murder mom, real quick, be right back.”
“I call dibs on Pogo.” Lalette paused in the doorway towards the stairs, popping her knuckles as she turned around to smile at Klaus.
“Let's workshop it.” Klaus replied.
As Klaus walked closer, she grabbed his clear wine glass filled with what she assumed was some sort of whiskey.

“Hey, get your own!” “Shove it.” Lalette said as she took a long drink. The burn didn't hit til she swallowed. It was smooth and rich. The expensive stuff always was.

"Wow look at you, a real natural. Hey, do you have anything good, big rockstar?" Klaus spun and started to walk backwards to keep facing her. “What? Like the good shit?” She decided to amuse him for a moment. “Whatever, you got. I know you rich types always have the crazy type of shit. You got to have something good. Remember how much fun we used to have? I can only imagine the sort of fun you have now at your big rich parties.” Klaus kept asking, hoping for something good.

“I only have it when it gets passed around at the aftershow. I’ll send you an invite next time.” She flashed him a cheeky grin. She knew he’d hit her up. He always did, never believing she gave up regular use after her first and only trip to rehab. She never considered herself an addict, so she never could have a relapse in her mind. Because she wasn’t into the drugs themselves, but the fact it was a “bad thing to do” that made it thrilling. But when she had no one to get in trouble with, it didn’t have the same temptation. That’s when she turned to sex. At least if she wasn’t getting in trouble, it felt good.

But alcohol-- That was a different story. She didn’t feel a dependency but she didn’t see the point in being sober all the time. She could go dry whenever she wanted to, but what was the fun in that?

She was a legal adult, she had the money and means-- So what was the point of not drinking?
She loved a good mixed, sweet cocktail. The less you could taste the burn of whatever ass liquor that was in it, the better.

She used to be a party girl. Every weekend was a blur of blackouts, her bank account in the negatives. But her work failed because of it, and so she was smart enough to chose a career over the thrill.

Now she was successful and she could drink any time she wanted to. She “made” it. She could drink and dope up anytime of the day. There wasn’t an exclusive club she couldn’t get into, a drug that she couldn’t taste. There was no sketchy man, it was a clean-cut millionaire who everyone knew.
Her teenage self would be in heaven.

Of course, her worst art was under the effects of intoxication. She couldn’t hear the sounds of her art as clearly, she lost the rhythm, it was far too overstimulating, too much going on. She needed a clean mind. But in her downtime? Different story. She almost needed to be under some sort of influence.
While creating, her mind was focused and in its environment. But outside of it, she had nothing to block out the thoughts.

“Oh, so I can meet some of your famous friends while I’m at it? Do you have orgies? Oh, I bet you have the nastiest orgies. Oh, that takes me back, doesn’t it, you?”

“No, I don’t remember any of that.”
“Me neither, but we’ve heard of all the dirty shit we were doing together.” Klaus replied. “Now come on, are you gonna hook a brother up or not?”

“No, I’m not. Surprisingly I don’t do that type of shit that often. Honestly, the new trend is sobriety. Or public sobriety, but when you have cameras and social media everywhere, it makes it harder to do anything without getting canceled.”
“No way. I remember you telling me about that time you got high with Fall Out Boy when producing their last album! No one’s sober anymore!” Klaus flat out refused to believe it.
“That was six years ago. Now they’re old fucks that get migraines when there’s too much incense burning in another room.” She said, arguing it.

“Okay, whatever. How about... Oh, what’s that new girl... Oh, Millie Eyelash! Yeah, have you seen how dark her shit is, no way she’s not on drugs. Have you worked with her?” Klaus gasped, grasping at straws.
“Weed edibles, at most. That's just to treat her anxiety. Her brother Finneas, on the other hand. He’s a crazy one.”

“Go flaunt somewhere else. No one wants to hear about all the famous people you know.” Allison brushed past the two of them slowly going up the stairs as she flew past them.

“At least they like me without outside influence!” Lalette called after her, to which Allison flipped her off as she turned the corner of the upper stairs.

“You know, girls, you need to stick together in times like these.” Klaus said. “I’d rather stick a cactus up my ass.” Lalette finished off the glass in her hand and handed it back to Klaus. “Great, thanks.” He rolled his eyes, turning back to go get it refilled for himself.
“It’s been a pleasure, old buddy.” Lalette continued up the stairs without him.

She gathered the courage to go into his room. It was time, after all. He wasn’t here to use anything, and what no one wanted now and wasn’t in a will would probably get auctioned off to collectors, or go in the trash. Now was the time to go through his old belongings. And hopefully as the burn in her lower stomach grew, she’d start to feel more joy than terror. Maybe it'd undo all her progress and she'd go frozen once more. She'd stop maturing, she'd stop losing her memories of him. They'd stop growing fuzzy with time.

She forgot to breathe for the few seconds she stood in the doorway, just looking into it.
“It’s been 17 years, Lettie-sue. You can do this without crying.” She tried to give herself more bravery to trek on.

Breaking the threshold, her body felt heavier. Like the air was thick and she got weighed down by it.

The walls still covered in chalk. Math calculations all over. She immediately searched for her hidden messages. “Lalette was here!” written with a silver glitter marker, so he couldn’t erase it. He never said if he ever found her small drawings or scribbles. She wondered if he ever saw them all, or if he even caught the last one before he was gone.

Mom had been in there, obviously. There wasn’t a single speck of dust, and yet nothing looked undisturbed. The wastebasket still piled sky high with crumpled balls of paper. It almost looked like she dusted them as well.
Like he never left

The thud of muffled bass began to play. Someone nearby was playing I Think We’re Alone Now on a turntable.
Luther, Vanya, and Allison had them.. Vanya would never openly play 80’s pop, and neither would Allison. But would Luther really blast Tiffany to let everyone know the weirdo he was? Well she guessed death brings out some weird sides of a person and shrugged it off.

It was a good song, though.

And so we're
Running just as fast as we can
Holding on to one another's hand
Trying to get away into the night
And then you put your arms around me
And we tumble to the ground and then you say

“I think we’re alone now. There doesn’t seem to be anyone else around..” Lalette sat down on the striped bed and sang along quietly, just admiring the ghost of the only person she ever truly loved.

She thought with certainty that this was one of her songs on her dedicated 13 <3 mixtape that she crafted together for when they were together.

Look at the way we gotta hide what we're doin'
'Cause what would they say
If they ever knew? And so we're
Running just as fast as we can
Holding on to one another's hand
Trying to get away into the night
And then you put your arms around me
And we tumble to the ground and then you say

It had to be one of “their” songs because she almost could recreate the dance routine she created out of boredom, move by move.

“You’re terrible, get another hobby.” He shook his head, adoringly at her, laughing.
Eight pointed at him as she performed for him, singing along. She was distracting him, because she was bored. She wanted to go play a game, but he had to get this thought written out before he lost it.
Eight spun in a circle and lost balance but smoothly caught herself on the dresser before she fell. He laughed humorously. “I think that’s the universe giving you a sign to give it up before you hurt yourself.”

She sighed deeply. “I think we’re alone now, the beating of our hearts, the only sound...” Tears pooled in the corner of her eyes.

Five Hargreeves.

The bane of her existence, the only person she would ever willingly grow with. The only person she ever wanted more than anything. She’d give up her entire career, all her money, her life to see him again.

Not a day went by when she wasn’t caught thinking of him. But she accepted her reality. He was gone. Something went terribly wrong when he ran off to time travel. He was never coming back.

It wasn’t a sharp pain anymore. It was just a glaring hole in her body. She would never fill that emptiness. She had her whole life mapped out but it involved him. Without him, none of it could happen.

It took many years to finally move on, to create a life that didn’t have him in mind. She drank and fucked around for years, anything to distract herself when her resolve started unravelling.
She had many affairs over the years, many didn’t have names, nor did she remember ever fucking them. Some were friends, casual lovers, but nothing grew past sex and friendship. She never allowed herself to feel vulnerable around another person. No one would ever understand her like Five, so what was the point of trying?
She couldn’t help but compare every partner to him, or what she imagined him to be. And those standards were impossibly high.
She accepted that he was her soulmate, and so now she’d spend the rest of her life incomplete.

But in the last two years?
Her mind wandered to the beautiful face of the korean idol she had been sleeping with. Okay, maybe it was more than just a friends with benefits affair.
Her cheeks felt warm at the thought of him but her stomach churned uncomfortably.

It felt wrong to think of another person while sitting on Five’s bed.

She wiped away the stray tear that fell, letting herself go through the wave of emotion.

But then there was a loud crash of thunder, and it broke her out of her calm. She looked out the window. Oh, it was dark outside now. And there was violent lightning going on.

The music stopped playing.
Another boom and flash. The hairs on her arms stood up. This wasn’t natural. Normal storms, she just felt simple negative energy. This wasn’t even that. It was erratic, and positive. It made the prickles of her skin feel wavy and mutant.
This was something otherworldly.
The loud thunder made the whole house tremble. She could hear glass from all over the house break and shatter. Things, falling over, The entire foundation started to shake violently. Small items on the furniture started to vibrate and shift around. A coffee mug filled with writing utensils shook off the desk and hit the ground with a loud sharp crash.

She heard footsteps running out into the hall. It must’ve been Luther or Diego running out to be a hero.

Then she saw Allison run past the room as she opened the door and peered out the hallway to see Luther going down the stairs, so naturally Lalette followed down the stairs and they all piled out to the doors to the courtyard and Diego was the bravest of them all and went outside first.

“Woah!” There was a weird anomaly of light dancing around in the middle of the sky in the courtyard.
The sky had gone completely dark. Thick gray clouds covered it and day turned into night.

It almost looked like a blue filter of a peephole into some other place. Lalette could faintly make out white fencing, focusing her vision ever so painfully.

“What is it?” Vanya asked.
“Don’t get too close!” Allison put her hand out to Luther, who wasn’t even stepping closer to it. “Yeah, no shit.” Diego cursed.

It felt like an electrical current mixed with acid through Lalette’s veins being so close.
“It’s a high power temporal energy source,” Lalette said, being sort of an expert on energy. “Either that or a miniature black hole.” Luther added.
“What, you’re an expert on black holes or something?” Lalette snapped at him, frustrated that even in a time like this he had to argue and be the leader. He was in charge, so he was the one to assess the situation, only he was allowed to know what was going on, so he could make the plans.

Klaus came bursting through, holding a fire extinguisher and started to spray foam into the anomaly. But then gave up and just threw the whole canister into it and it disappeared.
“What is that going to do?!” Allison shouted at him. “I don’t know! Do you have any better ideas?” Klaus shrugged, having a decent point.

A distorted image of an older man started to form in the center of it.
“Everyone get behind me!” Luther ordered, holding his arms out. Allison grabbed his hand and he looked back-- Longingly at her.
“Yeah, everyone get behind me!” Diego mirrored Luther, as if he was playing the hero.

“Anything you can do, Lalette?” Luther asked.
“I don’t know! I never had experience with temporal anomalies or miniature black holes!” She shouted back at him. “If I had time to figure it out, maybe!”

The image of the old man started to shift into something else--- Something-- Five?

And a kid in a black suit fell out of the light and then it disappeared and the wind, dark clouds and thunder went away and the sky cleared up immediately.

The kid had dark brown hair, caucasian skin-- He was short and the suit he wore was way too big on him. He stood up and.--

“Is anyone else seeing Number Five?” Klaus asked after a moment of silence. Lalette reeled back feeling lightheaded and nauseous. She stared wide-eyed at this kid-, Well kid was a rudimentary description considering Lalette herself looked barely any older.
But this was Five.
Even wearing a black suit and looking down at himself, heavily confused then back up at his siblings and cursed... This was Five.

“Five!” Lalette took a few cautious steps forwards in front of the group. Five looked at her and his muddled confused expression changed immediately to one of painful yearning. “Eight..” He muttered, as he tried to find more words. Then his face hardened. “I need to eat.”
He walked past her without another glance, and passed the rest of the family as he went inside.

Allison and Luther were the first to follow after him immediately.
Lalette stood there, breathless as her mind unraveled- Or so it felt. She was quickly sobered up but the quick change of events.
Five.

Five. Her Five was alive.
So many years of waiting for him to come back, having to work through the fact that he wasn’t coming back, that he was dead or... Whatever. But the fact was that he was gone forever and she had to live with it and rework her whole life to survive.

And here he was. 16 years later, looking nearly identical as he did the day he ran away from home.

“Hey, are you okay? You just checked out there.” Diego stepped closer to her, hand to her shoulder.
“Yeah, I-...” Lalette paused, remembering what she thought she saw. Then she swiftly turned around and ran into the house.

Allison and Luther were already in the kitchen, staring at Five in disbelief.
Lalette stood in the doorway, panting. Five.

Five!
He looked just as she remembered. The day he disappeared.

She had to be hallucinating. There was no way that Five-- Her brother that disappeared nearly 16 years ago was in the kitchen, looking for bread and peanut butter.

He’d have to be 30 now. He’d have to be taller, more mature not-- Like 14 years old.
He was definitely another delusion. She got lost in his memory, going back into his room and was struck with grief once more, creating her delusions.

But Allison and Luther were watching him. Then she wasn’t awake, obviously.

She felt a dull pinch to her side. “Ouch, fuck!” She hissed, as Klaus came up from behind her. “You’re not dreaming, we all see him. Or, I think we do.”

“It’s real. I’m not sure how, but it’s real.” Diego said, pushing past Klaus, to go further into the kitchen.
“Are you okay, Lalette?” Vanya put her hand on her shoulder gently. “I’m fine, I-..” She just stopped trying to have a conversation with Vanya, to focus on what was actually important.

Vanya sat down at the table, opposite of Luther. Klaus climbed up onto the table and sat on it. Allison, Diego and Lalette stood at the end of it.

Lalette felt sick to her stomach. She had so many questions, so many thoughts, so many feelings.
So he did jump through time. When he ran out the doors after dad forbade him from doing it, saying he didn’t understand time enough to do it-- That was the last time anyone ever saw him again. But that had to be it. Lalette always thought about it, but after 16 years and not a single sign that he was back, she gave up on it. She had to admit that she thought he was dead.

But he wasn’t. Apparently he just got lost or-- That’s why he was the same age as when he left. He must’ve jumped to this time. Or something. Maybe to him it had only been seconds or minutes since he saw his family, compared to their 16 years.

“What’s the date? The exact date?” Five demanded.
“The 24th?” Allison answered. “Of what?” Five sharply added. “March.”
He opened the bag of bread, looking to the side thoughtfully. “Good.”

Everyone watched him get two pieces of bread out and put them on the cutting board.
“Are we going to talk about what just happened?” Luther asked when Five said no more.
Nothing.
Luther stood to his feet. “It’s been 17 years!”
Five slammed down the butterknife and stood face to face with Luther, intimidatingly. Or at least he would if he wasn’t nearly a foot shorter than him. “It’s been a lot longer than that.” Five took half a step forward and disappeared, only to reappear in the side pantry, opening the panel and searching for something. “I didn’t miss that.” Luther grumbled.
Lalette shivered at the fluctuating energy that danced around her skin. She missed it at least.

Diego crossed his arms. “Where’d you go?”
Five reappeared at the front of the table with a bag of mini-marshmallows. “The Future. It’s shit, by the way.”

“Called it!” Klaus raised his hand. “I called it.” Lalette argued with a tinge of righteousness dripping off her tone.
Allison sighed and crossed her arms. “Always have to be right.”

Five walked over to the fridge. “I should’ve listened to the old man,” he sighed. “Jumping through space is one thing, jumping through time is a toss of the dice.” He grabbed the partial jar of peanut butter and returned back to his sandwich.

Five glanced forward at his gawking siblings. Just as he remembered them, jumping into the future. All of their dead bodies, at first he hadn’t recognized their older appearances but the similarities were uncanny. Of course only one of his siblings was the exact same.

She looked better, not dead.

Luther was a mountain of a man, Diego beefed up, Allison grew into herself, Klaus looked like shit and his dick was peeking out of his skirt, Vanya looked sadder and paler, and Lalette looked nearly identical to the day he jumped through time.

Of course, reading Vanya’s book, he knew she had just begun to age in the last couple years. One of dad’s many theories was stress.
As an infant being constantly tested on, she stopped growing until the stressors went away and she was allowed to just be a baby for a while. And if Vanya’s book was true, Five’s absence and the way she poisoned her body-- Once again she went through a lot of stress.
And only recently had she finally begun to heal.
He felt a pang of guilt for coming back- Not that the feeling lasted long because there were far more important things to focus on.

All of his other siblings had signs of aging. Fine lines just starting to show around eyes and mouths. Or more apparent in Vanya and Luther, on the forehead.
They were much taller, bigger.
Klaus looked like shit. Dark eyeliner creased around his eyes making the lines even more dramatic. His face was red and bloated. The signs of serial substance abuse.
And Lalette had 0 lines. Her skin was supple and taught as a teenager’s should be. She was taller than him, but he assumed it was just her shoes. Her makeup aged her and she could pass as a young adult.
But he had other things to linger on.

It had been so many years, a few decades even since Five thought about his past regrets. Leaving his family behind, growing old all alone. Never getting to grow old with them, experience life as he should’ve alongside them.

What he wanted to do, what he should’ve done.. It started to flood back into his head looking at his sister. It was like walking back into time, like he never left.

He went back to grimacing at Klaus’ furry undercarriage peeking out of the skirt. “Nice dress.” He commented sourly.

Klaus fixed the skirt, so it actually covered him properly. “Oh, danke.”

“Wait, how did you get back?” Vanya asked the most important question.
Five dug the knife into the peanut butter. “In the end, I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time.”

“That makes no sense.” Diego shook his head. “It would if you were smarter.” Five shot back seamlessly. Diego jumped up to his feet and Luther held out his arm to hold him back.

“There isn’t a version of him in any possible timeline that could do that.” Lalette remarked.
“Very likely.” Five nodded. Lalette felt her cheeks glow.

Oh, how she still sought validation from him, all these years, In mere seconds of him not being dead, and here she was.

“How long were you there?” Luther asked, hoping to change the subject and calm Diego down, while getting more answers. “45 years, give or take.” Five replied.

Luther sat back down, pushing Diego back.
45 years? But he was only gone for 16 and he looked no older than 14, and Lalette never understood this time bullshit. But he wouldn’t lie.

“So are you saying you’re like 58 years old?” Luther asked, being able to quickly calculate the math. “No, my consciousness is 58 years old. Apparently my body is 13 again. Just like Eight, here.” Five closed his peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich and picked it up, gesturing it at Lalette before taking a bite out of it.

“Bitch, first off, it’s Lalette-” She paused, as if for a second there she forgot Five hadn’t been missing for almost 20 years and she felt self-conscious seeing him look at her. Her confidence started to shrink away. “...and second off, fuck you, I’m 30.” She looked away, while hooking hair behind her ear and Five took note of all the hardwear. Jesus Christ, was there a part of her body that she hadn’t desecrated in metal?

“No you’re not, Lalette.” Five countered very smoothly, almost like he expected her to reply.
She couldn’t look at him. They couldn’t be bantering, right? Was he actually here? Or was this the lamp story? She’d wake up from an o.d. in a hospital room and the date was 2004 anytime now.

“Wait, how does that even work?” Vanya asked, trying to stay on topic. Five turned around to look out the small window above the sink. “Delores always said the equations were off. Eh. Bet she’s laughing now.” Another bite and he turned around.

“Delores?”

That’s a female name. Lalette felt an old spark in her relight and then dimmed in minutes. Had he spent all this time with someone?
Not that it mattered, because... Well, because obviously 45 years went by for him, and obviously he wasn’t in love with her anymore. Which was completely normal and understandable. But it felt unfair. WHy did someone have him when she couldn’t?

Five ignored the question and grabbed the newspaper on the table, reading the big headline. “Ah, guess I missed the funeral.”
“How’d you know about that?” Luther asked.

“He just said he came back from the future. Dad’s still gonna be dead in the future, Moon-bitch.” Lalette waved a hand in the air, completely in awe of his stupidity.
“Watch your mouth, you bitch.” Allison quipped at her.

The electricity flickered for just a half second. Lalette tensed her shoulders as she closed her eyes for a brief moment to stop herself from saying anything more. Allison smirked, just waiting for the moment for Lalette to lash out at her.

“So, heart failure.” Five raised his voice over the girls. “No.” “Yes.” Luther and Diego said over each other.
Five looked over at all his remaining family and sighed, throwing the paper down. “Nice to see nothing’s changed.” And he walked out of the kitchen.
“That’s all you have to say?” Allison called after him. “What else is there? The circle of life.” Five’s voice said, already getting farther away.

Lalette gaped at him leaving so abruptly. She wanted to run after him and demand more from him.
There was something different about him. He was harsher, ruder, more quick to the point. Was mature the right word for that?

He did say he was 58 years old now.

She wanted to know what happened. Where did he go, what did he see? But she felt almost terrified to go to him first.

So she let him be. A part of her hoped that she’d go to her room and come down from the hallucination and things would be as they were. Five wasn’t back from being lost in time. His whereabouts were still unknown and was still presumed dead. Being in the house just brought back too many memories and she was experiencing psychosis.

Deep, vibrating bass, along with hard rock beats.
“Worse than I thought.” Five hummed, standing at her door. KEEP OUT
He had time to come to terms with the fact that his Eight was now a monster of his own creation.

His Eight was argumentative, sure. She always had to be right, and would go to great lengths to prove a point. But this, Lalette was crude and seemingly violent.
Eight couldn’t hurt a single fly. Hell, she was scared of bugs.

She loved pink, pop music, sparkles, and butterflies. Lalette looked like a done-up goth. She liked rock music, apparently. She had tattoos. She had gotten her Umbrella tattoo touched up, it looked vibrant and fresh, along with flowers in the empty space between the umbrella and the circle around it. From what he caught from the couple glances he managed to see, each flower looked like a different type and color, eight of them each. And on the other wrist, five pink carnations bundled together.

An easy guess said that both tattoos were in tribute to her family and Five. But from her dark aesthetic, she probably had more elsewhere.

He worried about seeing more of her than necessary. He always feared the day they’d reunite once more because he knew he messed her up. He never stopped regretting his mistake. He never meant to get trapped, he never meant to take so long to come back. He knew his disappearance would absolutely break her heart. She loved him, he was her world, and even as dramatic as your first love was, their love was intense. He had no doubt that if he never left, they’d be together now as adults. And if he never left, she’d still be as innocent and delicate as she was the day he left.

But it’d never be like that. He had to save the world, he was a different person, she was a different person. She wasn’t his Eight. Just a hollow shell. All he would love of her was the girl she used to be.
But this wasn’t about him.

“No, it’s fine. I’m staying longer than I planned anyways, I had to expect something like this.” He heard her voice through the female heavy rock vocals. She was talking to someone.

He knocked three times. He expected her to come to him, not the other way around. Things had definitely changed. Not that he fully expected that things would revert to the norm when it had been 17 years here, but 45 for him. But, a part of him thought that if she was this distorted because of him, she’d immediately run to him. It had been 17 years for her, though. That was enough time to grow and move on.

Maybe Vanya was wrong. Maybe she did get over him entirely, maybe she wasn’t nearly as bad as she was made out to be. Maybe she did fall in love with someone else and her heart had mended and she didn’t need him anymore.
Which was absolutely dandy. He’d prefer that, honestly.

But the moment he fell from the time portal, she nearly leapt towards him, saying his name. Hearing her voice after so many years... His memories didn’t come close to the real thing.

“It’s just that she’s back early from her trip to Rome and she wanted to talk strategy-” Another voice spoke. Female and young.

“And I understand that, April, darling. I just-...” Lalette paused to sigh exaggeratedly. “I just have a lot going on.”
“I know, Lalette. And I hated having to call you on your father’s funeral of all days, but she said it was urgent and I know your contract is really important to you and-” “No you were right to call. Look, I can do a conference call with her at her earliest convenience. That’ll satisfy her long enough and I’ll butter her up and I’ll string out my poor daddy’s recent death and she’ll extend it out. And you’ll have to get George on the phone because I’m sure there’s a clause somewhere in there where she’s not allowed to threaten, let alone, demand a new schedule with me or cut the contract entirely.”

Another knock she didn’t hear-- Or she willfully ignored.
“I’ll send him an email and if I don’t hear back before the morning, I will be calling him, but he may ask to talk to you as well but I know you just extended your stay so...” “No, the funeral’s tonight, I’m sure tomorrow is just the start of divvying up his gold or some shit. I’ll definitely have time to step away for a talk with him. Just let me know.”

Five grew impatient with her and opened the door.
“For fuck’s sake!-- I’ll text you or you text me April. I have to go.” Lalette was startled to see him standing in her door, boredly.

She threw her phone to the side and paused her laptop, ceasing the blaring music coming from her bluetooth speakers.

“A busy woman, I hear.” Five started off. He looked around her room, even more different than he remembered. And from his knowledge, she left the house at 16, and these emo posters were dusty and aging.
Deductive reasoning said that this was an early change, right after he vanished. It really was his fault she was like this.

He came to her. Maybe he didn’t change that much. Just what happened to him? Was it really 45 years for him? She did think about all the hypotheticals, if something could respark and- But it was stupid to start thinking like that so early on.
Her mind was all over the place, frazzled, even. It was hard for her to come up with a coherent thought that made sense, that was productive.

She wanted to just break down because this sudden return was far too overwhelming for her to just adjust to.
She wanted to run to him and wrap herself around him so tightly, he could never leave again. She wanted to cry and cry until she’d pass out from exhaustion. She wanted the closure she always wanted.

“Uh,-- Yeah, I... Yeah, busy.- But, I cleared my schedule, so it’s whatever.” She didn’t want to talk about her, just him. She wanted to know what he saw, what he did.

“A big time pop star, I hear. Not surprising in the slightest.” Five said, casually enough. “Yeah, I... I-.. mean that it's not all I am. I write music for other artists, I've done some acting, I'm an advocate for charity. So I'm more than just that.” Lalette said, tight lipped.

She was anxious. Five could tell that much. Was it him? Of course it was. But that was the same. Splinters of Eight came through in how she sat on the bed, how her body coped with her stress. Her knees slightly bopping, just noticeable enough. How she put her hands in her lap, both hands grasping her calf as she straightened her arms out, but also closing her body off and tensing her shoulders tight. And every time she stopped talking, she put the inside of her bottom lip into her teeth as she listened to him ask a question. How her glittery brown eyes blinked up at him, trying to listen intently, taking in every detail possible.

There’s his girl.

“If you say so. That call didn’t sound like it.” Five said. “Well, it’s just... There’s this artist that’s bit of a primadonna who thinks the world revolves around her, and we have a schedule set to start in two weeks but she’s trying to push it up to tomorrow, saying she has this big idea that’s gonna top the charts, but she knows full well that until then, I’m unavailable. But she’s a big deal and if she throws a big enough fit, I could lose my contract with her record company. And it was hard enough to get my foot in the door with them back when Paramore signed onto them and wanted me on their team. It’s just... A bit much for right now.” Her voice shook slightly, and she sounded out of breath.

“Well you better buckle up because the world’s ending.” Five put a hand in his pocket as he spoke so calmly. Lalette’s mouth opened then shut quickly, she tilted her head to the side, blinking several times before giving up on trying to decipher his riddle. He could just be exaggerating, but consider he just reappeared 30 minutes prior... It was too early for joking.
“I’m sorry, what?”

“Did all the loud music finally damage your hearing or are you stupid?” Five shook his head, he didn’t have the patience to dumb this down. She was supposed to be the smartest out of the lot. Even if she didn’t understand, she was always good at just pretending to and listening. And maybe occasionally, shoot out a good idea.

“I heard what you said, I just don’t get what you mean. You spent 45 years in the future, how could it be the end of the world and you only now mention it? Or is it the end of the world because the marshmallows were stale?” Lalette genuinely needed clarification.

“They were a bit hard now that you mention it, but they don’t have a long shelf life. You want to know how I know that? Because I had to survive off foods that didn’t go bad for years at a time. And marshmallows aren’t it. And you know what? You ever hear about twinkies being as resilient as cockroaches? That’s a fucking lie by the way.”

Lalette stood up off the bed. “What do you mean, Five? You have to go a bit more into detail when you talk about the end of the world.”

“I mean, I jumped into the future, just after the apocalypse happened and I couldn’t get back. And I was the only one there until I figured out how to get back.” Five reiterated. “When does it happen?” Lalette asked simply. She needed to know more details before she could actually wrap her head around it. The idea had yet to stick.

“In eight days. You might want to put that primadonna on hold a bit longer, or just don’t worry about it because we’ll all be dead.” Five smiled sourly.
“How does it happen?” Lalette didn’t even take a moment to think about her other obligations. He had to be telling the truth with all the attitude he was giving her.

“I don’t know. I also don’t know why. Luckily I jumped back before it happened and I can figure it out and then stop it from happening. Any more questions?” He sternly looked at her.-- Up at her. She just barely stood a couple inches taller than him. That was absolutely not supposed to happen.
He eyed her up and down. She was wearing heels for one thing and--- Very little clothing. Now that she stood up he got to see her outfit clearly, the room got noticeably warmer for him.

She wore a black flowy cardigan sweater that could’ve been a dress on its own if she buttoned it up. But she had it open, showing a black cropped, fitted, tank top with a ribbed front, and along the front of the crew neck collar, there was a silver chain sewed onto it. Then she had yet another black colored article of clothing in the form of a high waisted quilted tennis skirt that was far too short for a funeral. Then, shockingly enough she had black ankle boots with a thick heel. And they sparkled with white embroidery.

The show of skin, her midriff on full display, most of her thigh and down--.. Her cropped top’s material was ribbed and it made her breasts appear bigger and perkier. Her skirt starting just below her waist line complimented her figure and as short as it was and her heels made her legs appear longer.

It had been so long since he was so focused on her body-- Even as a teen he never saw so much skin on her (not that he didn’t want to).
That was new. For years, decades, his yearning for her was purely platonic and reminiscent. That girl was a child and pure.

He fully planned out what he would do once he figured out how to jump back in time to save the world. But being put into his teenage body, and his sex drive being full frontal and targeting her, wasn't part of any equation.

Five dismissed his recurring pubescent teenage hormones for the sake of the fate of the world. Okay, don’t think about how hot she is, think about--- Think about how fucked up she is.

She had bright red dyed hair cut into a ragged lob with overgrown bangs. She had three face piercings, a black bar in the arch of her right eyebrow, a black hoop in her septum, and a black gem in her left nostril. He also observed the scar of previous holes in her right bottom lip.
He caught a glimpse of one of her ears and only paid attention for a brief second of getting a somewhat decent look and saw more than just a simple lobe piercing. The vivid hair, the grunge style-- The facial piercings screamed emotionally stunted, daddy issues, teenage angst, and past trauma.

Dangling over her chest was a shiny necklace pendant of a japanese cartoon cat accompanied by diamonds. Her chest... He couldn’t remember the last time he ever saw her cleavage. Considering all the modest clothes she wore back in their day, he didn’t think he ever did. Maybe the outline, but to see her skin, and the... tops of her.... Breasts.... Were they always that round and... perky...?

No, don’t focus on that!
Go back to her obvious emotional scars, expressed through her dark style... Clothes are too risky, look higher.

He always knew she had an interest in makeup but dad forbade her to wear any so there was no surprise that her face was covered in it. It looked nice and could’ve been mistaken for professional work. But if he had to have a complaint, it’d be the dark maroon eye makeup and the complementing brownish red lipstick.

Sure, the wannabe gothic style would be the last thing Five imagined to be attractive on her, the makeup aged her (not in a bad way) and dulled her brown eyes. The brown tint in the colors made her complexion look pale.
Once again, not done in bad taste but she had skin for subtle and natural colors. Why try to mask her youth and innocence with rebellion and angst?

Noting Vanya’s commentary on her, it was very likely it was yet another statement to solidify her maturity.
The rock music, the dark colors, she had an interest in punk rock. Which was quite a change from her obsession with pop music from the early 2000’s. Was it just a shift as she got older or was she like all those teens on tv that only got into darker culture because of their shitty lives?
He was mostly offended by the fact she was taller than him right now. There was no way she would be.
High heels were a thing adult women did-- Or was she still hung up on being shorter than Allison and tried to combat it with heels?

Lalette took a moment to think carefully. “Not to question you or your experiences in the least but-”
Five spun around and sighed, pacing over to the window to look out it disapprovingly.

“I’m just asking, how are you sure we were dead? I mean, there was no way you were the only person alive or-”
“I saw your bodies. Every single one of you was dead and I came across millions of other corpses in my travels around the burning world. 45 years and not one other person, and usually if there was some sort of other life, it wouldn’t go unnoticed for that long.” Five didn’t soften the blow of that one.
“All of us... Me, Vanya, Klaus, Allis-”
“Yes, all of you. You and everyone else that’s currently in this house. All of them. You were deader than shit. Dead. And unless I get to figuring out how it happens or how to stop it, it’s going to happen and you’re going to die in eight days.” Five reiterated, impatiently.

It was a lot for her to take it, he’d admit that. But having to go back over those memories were things he’d wish she’d just quickly absorb.

Lalette crossed her arms, her brows furrowed together as she thought hard. She swallowed before speaking. “Why didn’t you mention this earlier, you know, to everyone?”

“Because I can handle it without those idiots getting in the way. Diego and Luther can’t even agree on dad’s death, you and Allison apparently have some petty fight going on, Klaus is too high, and Vanya doesn’t have powers. But, you’re reasonable and can be useful. Or you used to be, unless all the drugs killed too many brain cells.”
Lalette gasped, feeling her heart drop into her stomach. She started to feel ashamed. “Who told you that?” She asked, breathless.

“Vanya. I read her book. Let me guess, you’re just as betrayed as the rest of those idiots.” Five looked back at her.
Lalette frowned. “It isn't that simple."

“Of course it is; You are pissed at her for saying it how it is.” Five countered. “I’m not pissed at her, I just... She had every right to speak her mind, to cope with her childhood, and I’m not claiming to be perfect or even a good sister, but not all of that needed to be aired out for the whole world to see. There are far better ways to cope with being the ordinary one of the family. There were things I told her, in confidence, because I trusted her not to tell anyone. And she did. I thought she was different than the others, I thought she understood me fully. She... If you know what she wrote, why aren’t you upset?” Lalette spoke truthfully, defending herself.

“No, because it was true. It was out there, and there’s nothing I could do to stop it. And from what I’ve seen of the future, her book didn’t sell very well. So not many people read her book.” Five replied, truly showing no bother by it.

“Fine, that’s you. But I just really wished she never said it aloud, letting anyone just know about what I kept behind closed doors. And if she had any grievances to air, she could’ve just told me.” Lalette said. She shrugged, looking defeated in a sense. It was the first time she actually talked about her feelings about it.

“Yeah, like you would’ve handled that well.” Five shook his head. “I would’ve. I-- I know I’m a different person than you used to know. I have changed a lot since I was 13. But not that much where you think I’m the opposite of what I say. I’m not a liar, I never have been.”
“You’re a liar when you need to be.”
“And I never lied to you. And I don’t need to now.” Lalette said, and it was the first time Five actually knew she was being sincere.

And he knew that much about her. She was a good liar, and she knew how to put on a believable act on the spot. But she only did it when she felt it necessary and her timing was always quite perfect. And he had no reason to believe she’d lie to him. What would she get out of it? She didn’t deny what Vanya wrote, so she knew that Five knew everything about her that he didn’t already.

“Okay, you’re right. I mean, I see it. At first, seeing how opposite you have acted from what I remembered, I just assumed everything had changed. Apparently, some parts of you have stayed the same. So, let me guess, what hurt you the most was her telling the truth about you and me, right? I know you always were scared of anyone finding out, let alone the whole world.”

“The family knew by then. Or at least, they always knew anyway. We weren’t that sneaky about it. And considering I’ve had time to grow from then, it’s not something I’m ashamed to talk about. We’re not biological siblings in the slightest. The risk of inbreeding doesn’t exist for us, so it wasn’t all that wrong, except for the fact we were raised together. But still, many people who are “siblings” catch feelings here and there.” Lalette shrugged again, showing indifference. So that was all true.

Five shuffled that thought all the way back to his subconscious, he wasn’t going to allow himself to think about what that truly meant. “So what was so bad of her to write about?”

“I don’t know, she made my party phase out to be some big bad addiction I was battling. I was a kid who was raised by the strictest man in the world, of course I was going to act out, and of course I was going to experiment. She even admitted that I stopped using drugs like that after I got out of rehab, so I don’t know why she talked like I’m still some addict, I never was anyways. I never got hooked on anything, I just liked fitting in with the rest of the party animals. Also, her closing thoughts on my section, making me out to be some child. I’m not a... I look like one, and I get treated like one, so maybe I have some tendencies, but I’m not a kid. That was something I always thought she understood about me, and she knows how much it affects me, so why would she say any of that?”

“Because you are a kid.” Five said simply.

She thought he would be the only one to understand, because he always was. Also, he was in the same boat as her right now, so why would he say that? She frowned and squinted her eyes at him, scowling.
“Okay, first of all, fuck off. Second of all,-- fuck off.”

“You want to know why you’re still a kid? Because you’re trying so hard to prove you’re not. You’re so obsessed with how everyone sees you. That’s childish.” He spoke without hesitation. She had her turn to talk, now it was his.

“You know, maybe I do but only because that is how I get treated. I have to overkill a point just to get someone to take me seriously. If you find that childish, then that’s on you. You haven’t seen me since we were actually kids. You don’t know anything about me but what you apparently read from Vanya’s book. And I’m just glad that I didn’t tell her everything. Wouldn’t want you coming back several years later making bullshit comments.”

Lalette walked to the door, indicating she was ending the conversation, closing down her walls.

Five sighed, turning after her. “Eight--...”
She turned back to him, everything about her, showing her hurt feelings. She still was so defensive.
“No, don’t “Eight” me! That’s not who I am anymore!” Her voice trembled as her eyes sparkled with tears trying to form. She swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked furiously to disperse the growing puddle of tears trying to spill over her lids. “You come to me, you tell me the world’s ending, that everyone I know and love, and myself included are about to die in the next eight days and I’m assuming you don’t want me telling any of the others, then you start going in on my personal life as if you know shit about me. You don’t get to tell me how I get to react to my life, and you don’t get to come in here and tell me that I’m a child and how immature I am when your balls have yet to re-drop. I don’t know what you went through in your 45 years or fucking whatever of living alone on some apocalypse world, but this is the last thing I thought you’d come to me to do.” She strictly called him out a tone sharper than a tungsten needle and had Five leaning away from her. But he couldn’t let some kid intimidate him.

“What’d you expect? Tears and love confessions?” Five asked, fully taking her anger head on. He understood her anger. She had the right to feel the way she did. Did he have to care? No. But damn, that headstrong temper of hers was fiercer than ever.

“Considering the shit you pulled downstairs earlier, no. Apparently you’re a full on dick like dad was, so the last thing I want to do is celebrate another version of him popping up. You know, I don’t even know what your point of coming to me was. All you’ve done is be a judgemental bitch. Go talk to Vanya if you care that much to do it. You know, she conveniently left out the part where she also had a crush on you when we were kids, so it’s a bit ironic how hard she was coming down on me for it. Go have fun with that.” Lalette coldly stated.
“I already knew how she felt, she told me long ago.” Five shrugged.
“What..” Lalette mumbled, getting thrown a loop. That was supposed to be her ammo, and he already knew? When did he find out?

“She told me a long time ago, when she first started to suspect something was going on between me and you. She just wanted me to know.” Five said, as if it meant nothing.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lalette asked, as if something that happened well over 18 years ago mattered now.
“Because I knew how insanely jealous you could get and I knew how’d you react, obviously I didn’t feel the same because I was with you. Can we talk about something that really matters?” Five didn’t want to rehash old news.

“You’d have a point considering how long ago it was, for either of us. But since that’s where we left off, I’m not sure if it’s something I can just forget. But since you’re a jackass now, I’m kinda done trying here. I’m getting a drink before the rest of the shit show continues on.” And she left, turning away briskly and out of the room.

Five stood there, nearly floored. He got his answers. Who she was, how she was, what had changed, and where they stood.
But it didn’t help at all.
She was a force to be reckoned with. Stubborn, prideful, and unyielding with her emotions.

Some things really don’t change.
Maybe she was still Eight after all.

Chapter 4 Chapter Text

The memorial proceeded outside during the darkness of dusk and it began to steadily rain.

Luther led the service out to the courtyard.

“How are you not totally soaked right now?” Klaus muttered to Lalette, being one of the few that didn’t have an umbrella. Diego and Luther, having a dick measuring contest, were far too manly to use umbrellas.

Ironically.

And unlike her two brothers, Lalette wasn’t wet in the slightest.

“I’m vibrating at a fast enough frequency to make the air around me deflect the rain.” She explained simply.

“Vibrating? Kinky, can I try?” Klaus smiled, getting flushed in the face. She grimaced. “I’m not even close to drunk enough to find that anything but disgusting.”

Five closely listened to their interaction with a hard expression which could easily mistaken towards the shit funeral procession he was forced to endure.

Klaus was the closest to her it seemed. Which wasn't surprising. If she wasn't with Five, she was with Klaus and Ben. And according to the book, Klaus and her bonded over their favorite way to cope with their trauma.

And seeing how they spoke, so brother and sisterly yet teetering to best friends, they're dynamic never changed from when they were kids. She maintained one good relationship, that was something. Albeit, it was Klaus, though.

“Your loss, sis.” Klaus sighed.

Lalette just took a step farther away from him, while taking another large drink of her tall glass of whiskey.

“Did something happen?” Mom asked, clearly confused but still smiled joyously. Even Lalette stared at her, startled by her naivety. She knew dad was dead. Didn’t she? She had hard times recognizing times and how long time would pass, or how those things made humans act differently. But forgetting that Five was (or had been) gone for 17 years to now dad’s death that just happened two days prior?

“Dad died, remember?” Allison reminded her, visibly concerned that mom was acting so clueless.

Mom’s face dropped. “Oh, yes.. Of course.”

“Is mom okay?” Allison asked. “Yeah, yeah she just needs to rest-- You know, recharge.” Diego quickly answered.

Lalette stared at her for a moment longer. Did something need to be recalibrated? Had something happened? Did dad do something to her? Or had he grossly neglected her to the point she was malfunctioning from lack proper maintenance?

Pogo hobbled out with his cane in one hand, umbrella in the other. Lalette felt conflicted about him. She considered him more of a father than dad, but he was a shadow of him. Never could say anything negative about him either.

He looked up at Luther. “Whenever you’re ready, dear boy.”

Luther opened the black urn and poured it out. There was less than Lalette expected.

It was rather underwhelming as it just poured straight to the ground and started to mix with the dirt and water on the ground.

“Probably would’ve been better with some wind.” Luther awkwardly shrugged. “No, no, it’s what he deserved.” Lalette snorted. “Here, here.” Klaus raised his cigarette.

“Come on guys,” Luther shook his head.

“Does anyone wish to speak?-- Besides Miss Lalette?” Pogo asked when no one spoke after Luther tried to scold his siblings.

But there was silence. No one wanted to be the first to start trash talking the old man.

“Very well. In all regards, Sir Reginald Hargreeves made me what I am today. For that alone, I shall forever be in his debt. He was my master-- and my friend, and I shall miss him very much. He leaves behind a complicated legacy-”

“He was a monster.” Diego finally said what needed to be said.

Klaus and Lalette glanced at each other in disbelief, giggling to each other.

“He was a bad person, and a worse father. The world’s better off without him.”

“Diego!” Allison finally said in a stern tone.

“My name is Number Two, and you know why? Because our father couldn’t be bothered to give us actual names. He had mom do it.” Diego hammered it in.

At her name, mom smiled. “Would anyone like anything to eat?”

“Jesus christ,” Lalette whispered under her breath as she took in a deep breath and pulled out her dab pen and took a long draw off it and held her breath until her head started to spin, then released the cloud of white.

She understood Pogo feeling some sort of way about their dad, or maybe not-- Dad treated Pogo better than his children. And Diego had every right to say what he had on his mind. If there was a time to get out all of their grievances, it was now.

There was no reason to hold back out of respect for the dead. If the old man wanted respect, he should’ve treated his children worth a damn.

“No thanks, mom.” Vanya kindly rejected. “Oh.” Mom went quiet.

“If you wanna pay your respects, be my guest. But at least be honest about the type of man he was.” Diego stepped out to look at the rest of his siblings, mom and Pogo.

“You should stop talking now.” Luther warned Diego.

Number Two turned around to look at his brother with a challenging glare. “You should, of all people, be on my side here, Number One. After everything he did to you-- He had to ship you a million miles away. That’s how much he couldn’t stand the sight of you!” Diego didn’t back off even as Luther kept trying to stop him but Diego didn’t stop.

Luther finally took a swing at Diego, who dodged and swung back-- Luther also dodged him.

Lalette laughed. “You know, I was just about to say this memorial was getting a bit too boring.”

“Always have to have the last word. This isn’t even about you!” Allison snapped at her, already disappointed in Diego and Luther fighting on top of dad’s ashes.

Lalette stared at her with amusement in her eyes. “I have the half mind to join Diego and tag team the dumb fucker for still kissing up to dad after all the shit he did. And considering the shit he did, I’ll make this whole fucking thing my bitch if I want to.”

“Stop this at once, children!” Pogo shouted, as if that would do anything, stopping Allison from saying anything more because it was clear that Lalette’s filter had evaporated.

“The only child here is Lalette.” Allison turned back to the fight happening as Vanya yelled for them to stop again, while Klaus was cheering Diego on.

“We don’t have time for this.” Five huffed, stomping back inside. Lalette watched him go, feeling a bit childish, actually. But, once again, she just didn’t know him anymore. This wasn’t the Five she grew up knowing. While he wouldn’t be one for violence, he wouldn’t be so annoyed by it, that he’d have to leave.

Then Luther went to jump-punch Diego, who dodged and Luther toppled over the memorial statue for their late brother, Ben.

“Holy fuck!” Lalette smiled, covering her mouth-- Not smiling out of joy-- It wasn’t funny at all anymore. Just pure shock.

“And there goes Ben’s statue.” Allison seethed, walking back inside as well.

Diego pulled out one of his knives, Vanya screamed-- The knife flew through the air and curved to just slice through the material of Luther’s jacket and give him a superficial cut. Even Lalette was stunned.

Luther gasped and grabbed his arm, cupping the wound and without another word he ran inside.

“Well, that’s a lot to unpack at once. I need to refresh my drink.” Lalette headed inside, downing what was left of her glass.

Five kept rummaging through the cupboards, muttering to himself.

Klaus and Lalette sat at the table, a bottle of whiskey in between them as they laughed about the memorial. Two empty bottles sat between them as well, both of them apparently playing a drinking game that no one else could understand.

With every drink Lalette took, Five got even more agitated. A reminder he didn’t think would be so sore in his chest.

Allison came into the kitchen after nearly 30 minutes had gone by since the shit show before.

“Is Vanya still here?”

“Oh, she’s gone.” Klaus answered, fidgeting with his old electric guitar from his room.

Five turned back around to the table. “Well that’s unfortunate. An entire square block, 42 bedrooms, 19 bathrooms, but no, not a single drop of coffee.”

“Huh, you’re right. Hey, in the morning we should go to Dunkin Donuts for a coffee run!” Lalette lit up, looking at him cheerily.

Five squinted at her. She was drunk. Once he didn’t reply to her, she went back to her bonding activity with Klaus.

Allison shrugged, “Dad hated caffeine.”

“He also hated children but he had plenty of us.” Klaus giggled through his statement. Lalette was in the middle of taking a shot, and she snorted-- Dribbling whiskey from her mouth, and it dripped down her chin. Klaus laughed harder.

“I’m taking the car.” Five decided. Lalette and Klaus stopped their silliness to look at him, surprised. “Where are you going?” Klaus asked.

“To get a decent cup of coffee.”

Lalette finished her drink and jumped up from her chair. “I wanna come with!”

“Can you even drive?” Allison asked Five. “I know how to do everything.” Five turned the other way and disappeared, willfully ignoring the whiny girl trying to get his attention.

“Hey, I said I wanna go too!” Lalette cried, running away towards the garage.

“Aren’t they cute?” Klaus batted his eyes up at Allison, who sighed and walked off.

Five found the keys and walked over to the car, getting inside and putting the key into the ignition. The engine didn’t turn over. “What the fu-”

The passenger door opened and Lalette slumped inside, looking mighty proud of herself, and out of breath. Five mentally swore at her, glaring ahead at the windshield.

“Between being too young to drive and the apocalypse, when did you learn to drive?” Lalette asked cheekily. Her speech, fast and tangled. She was very drunk and she was only going to get worse since the last shot she took minutes prior wouldn’t kick in yet.

“Not like there weren’t cars after everyone was dead. Now get out.” Five muttered harshly. He wanted to be alone, and if she was going to tag along, he’d rather deal with her sober.

“I’m going with.” Lalette sat up straight, showing how determined she was. It really reminded Five of her younger self. Always had to be with him and more stubborn than the strength of Luther’s biceps.

“No you’re not. I’ll just walk.”

“I know where you’re going. I’ll just meet you there.” Lalette kept smiling, like she was enjoying this banter. She bounced slightly as she spoke.

So much like her younger self.

So this is why she drank. It blinded her to whatever it was that tormented and twisted her personality into what it was when she was sober.

Five couldn’t get too mad about it, because that’s how he was. Drinking cleared his mind of his indiscretions. Sure, his drinking made Delores upset, but at least he could handle her nagging better this way.

Maybe it was all one big lie in the first place. Delores was so disgusted by his drinking because he was by Lalette’s.

“I want to be alone right now. We can catch up after we don’t die at the end of the world.” Five didn’t want to continue to resurface old feelings. Because underneath it all, he actually wanted her to stay and continue annoying him.

“Haven’t you been alone long enough, old man?” Lalette joked.

“Haven’t you been a kid long enough, baby sister.” Five hoped that would be enough to get her upset and storm off. Because it should’ve hurt her. It used to. Even before they confessed their attraction to each other, it bothered her. Back then, Five didn’t know why she would back off when he’d call her his sister. But once they started seeing each other, it was clear.

The fact it was technically incest made her visably upset. She was in love with him, and she knew it was wrong because he was her brother.

She scowled up at him but she looked more adorable than intimidating. Her lips pouted slightly, and with her drinking, her cheeks were flushed.

“Diego’s been calling me that for 15 years, it doesn’t have the same effect anymore. But kindly, fuck off for trying.”

Five exhaled deeply. Right, she also did state prior that she wasn’t disgusted by it anymore. She had processed it.

And Five never was bothered by it because he came to that conclusion 45 years ago when they first kissed. (And now that they were now on the same page... What stopped them from going back to where they were?)

But, still, she was drunk. “You’re the one tagging along with me. I’ll glady fuck off if you leave me alone.” Five nodded, agreeing with her.

Lalette pouted. “Have you always been this much of an asshole?”

“Yes. Get out.” Five leaned over her to open her door, doing it so quickly that neither of them could realize how close they were for that second.

“Hey, you blinked forward and got yourself stuck in the future. Your whole family and the rest of the world dead and you were alone for what? 40 something years you said? Wouldn’t you want to cherish me and spend time with me and the rest of the family?”

“Not when there’s a world to save. And I need coffee to think so I can find a way to save all of our asses.” Five shot back.

“I’m not stopping you. You’re just being a stubborn dickhead.” Lalette’s impish nature returned.

“Fine, you want to come with? Fine. I don’t give a fuck just don’t be annoying. Which, I’m sure you’re going to be anyway because you already are.” Five gave in unwillingly, irritated out of his mind. The more he was stuck with her, the harder she was going to make this on him.

Lalette closed her door once more and the car roared to life. “Great, let’s get going!” She beamed at him and he groaned and looked ahead at the windshield.

“Griddy’s! Oh, I remember this place!- Ugh!” Lalette slammed against the dash as Five braked roughly, since she wasn’t wearing her seatbelt and was already leaning forward.

He was already out of the car and heading inside, leaving her in the dust. “Five!” Lalette rushed out and ran after him. He paused at the door, waiting for her-- But Lalette hadn’t processed it so she bumped into his back. “Sorry.” She tried to straighten out the back of his uniform jacket. Five only glared forward, opening the door and going inside. Every time she touched him, he felt an annoying old desire come back.

Fuck this stupid teenage body.

They sat up at the counter and Five tapped the bell.

Lalette leaned up against him, patting his arm excitedly. “Hey, can I get a piece of cheesecake?”

Five looked at her with disdain in his eyes. “You’re an adult, get whatever the fuck you want.” He only acted so harsh with her because he knew he was putting her in danger.

They were going to come for him any moment and she was drunk.

She was already useless with her powers, but drunk?

This trip was supposed to be a three for one deal. Get coffee, be alone, and deal with the Commission. How was he supposed to do that with this actual child next to him whining at him, so endearingly?

Lalette nodded. “Right, right. Okay, that’s what I’m going to get. Where is she? Is there anyone here? Ah, what if it’s closed?” She frantically petted his shoulder, trying to get his attention.

Five exhaled slowly, trying to stop himself from exploding at her. “Stop touching me.” Lalette flinched back and turned to face forward.

This really was his Eight.

An older man walked in and sat a seat away from the two and started working on a sudoku puzzle on one of the newspapers, trying his best to give them their space.

Agnes came from the back. “Sink was clogged, sorry about that. What can I get for you?” She pulled out her notepad. She wore a bright pink, vintage waitress outfit. She looked like she was in her mid 60’s. Lalette remembered her from several years ago as an actual kid.

Agnes looked straight at the man. Five waited patiently, while Lalette looked like she was about to jump out of her seat with anticipation.

“Uh, chocolate eclair.” The guy said.

Agnes nodded towards the kids, thinking they were his. “Should I get some chocolate milk for the kids?”

“The kids want coffee, black. And this one wants cheesecake, strawberry.” Five said sternly. Lalette sat up straight, beaming.

“Cute kids.” Agnes smiled fakely at the old guy. Five smiled cheesily. Agnes turned away and started to work on the order.

“You remembered! Hey, Five, you remembered I like strawberry cheesecake! Five, that’s so sweet!” Lalette tried to whisper quietly, although it was quite the opposite. Once again she turned towards him, hands reaching for him.

Five grabbed one of her wrists firmly. He gave her a silent warning with only his eyes and Lalette cowered back. “Sorry, I just got excited that you remembered.” She turned back around and lowered her head as she took out her pen to take a hit. Five let go of her and hoped she’d actually back off now. What in the hell was she smoking?

Five recognized electronic cigarettes and marijuana pens, and even the occasional shroom vape but in this modern world, and even the occasional future years he had traveled to, it wasn’t hard to imagine what other illicit drugs could be put into an electronic vape.

It’d be crazy to imagine as a singer, Lalette would want to risk her voice and breathing by compromising it with smoking, but from Vanya’s book...

“I can tell.” He said, strained. He slid the other newspaper that he had in front of him, to her, giving her something to do.

With Lalette finally leaving him alone, Five made small talk with the older man. Agnes was quick to grab the orders and served them.

“Thank you!” Lalette smiled at her, once again revived when she saw her food.

The man paid for the whole thing and Five thanked him then asked for an address to a shopping mall. Lalette didn’t care, she had her cheesecake.

Then the towing guy left and Agnes went into the back.

“There’s another anomaly like when you came back. 10 meters to the north-west. But it’s not familiar like you are.” Lalette said simply, cutting into her piece of tart. He was surprised she could still sense anything. But he was not at all surprised about the news. Took them long enough.

“Lalette, get behind the counter and stay there until I say so.” Five didn’t flinch in the slightest as he knew what was there for him. At least he got a few seconds headstart.

He knew they’d come for him soon, which was one reason why he wanted to go alone. And if Lalette came with, he’d appreciate it if she was sober and had a clear mind. But he’d have to give her points for the heads up.

“Is it because of the guys with guns?” Lalette turned to look back at them encroaching on the parking lot. Five grabbed her harshly by the shoulder, turning her back around.

“Climb over it and don’t get up until I say so. They won’t hesitate to kill you if you move.” He said more gritted. The last thing he needed was her getting hurt, or worse, killed--or even him trying to save her.

“All right, fine, but you have to tell me what it’s about afterwards.” Lalette crawled on top of the counter and then hopped down.

The door opened and the soldiers started filing in. “If we get that far.” Five mumbled.

Six men pointed guns at him. “That was fast. I thought I’d have a bit more time.” Five said so casually.

Lalette tried to peek over the counter at the guys to gauge the situation.

The main guy, an african-american man with a bald head, dressed in black covert gear, had a rifle barrel pointed just inches from Five’s head. “Okay, so let’s all be professional about this. On your feet and come with us. They want to talk.” The guy said.

“I’ve got nothing to say.” Five argued. “Come on, don’t be like this. You really think I want to shoot a kid? Have that on my conscience?” The guy replied, focusing on his target, waiting for the slightest movement.

“Well, I wouldn’t worry about that. You won’t be going home.”

And suddenly Five disappeared and several rounds of gunfire went off. And so Five started to cleverly go after each guy one by one, killing the first with a blink behind him and butterknife to the back of the neck and then another, strangling him with his tie and then--

The remaining four suddenly froze in motion and the bullets flying through the air froze and then fell to the ground like they lost momentum.

Five looked at the scene, bemused. “Now what?”

Lalette stood up. “Huh, I didn’t think that’d work so well. Haven’t done something like that in a long time.” Her speech was clear. The pupils of her eyes glowed a heavenly yellow. A stream of blood dripped from her right nostril. She dabbed at it and grabbed a napkin to clean it up.

Five relaxed, only slightly. He looked at her, buzzing with bewilderment. When did she learn to do that? She never had this sort of power when they were kids and Vanya didn’t mention this at all in her book.

Not that it was all that surprising, he always said she’d be a force of nature, a god in her own right, once she finally allowed herself to live up to her potential. Her energy manipulation could do the unimaginable if she learned to pull from outside of herself for energy. She never could focus long enough and she’d end up drawing from herself, hurting herself.

Perhaps that’s just how her mind worked. Self destruction seemed to be her favorite hobby nowadays.

But the sudden show of power was definitely not something he was expecting.

She used her powers to manipulate her own energy to sober up, and then the energy around her, so specifically it only targeted the men. Everything else kept moving.

“I had it under control.” Five shrugged, not having anything else to say.

“Sure you did.” She walked around the counter, grabbing a pastry knife and walked over to one of the guys and stuck the blade into his skull, between the eyes with no hesitation. Blood splattered all over, but Lalette didn’t flinch at all. Then with another quick jerk of her arm, she pulled the knife out and the man fell to the ground, fully dead. A pale yellow fluid light came from the dead man’s chest and it flowed up towards Lalette, and once it reached her face, she breathed it in and her eyes glowed brighter for a moment until she sucked up all this man’s remaining life force.

Five floundered, not at all expecting any of this.

She wasn’t at all repulsed or scared by what just happened. All the blood, the murder, the gunfire... And now she was also a murderer in her own right?

She used to be so averse to blood and violence. Now she cheered it on, and she acted on it.

And it was insanely attractive to Five.
She was so gorgeous as is, the dark aesthetic wasn’t his thing, but it didn’t look bad on her.

And the blood splattered on her face and clothes? He didn’t know that could be a turn on, but god damn, it was turning him on.

“It was also fun.” Five added, like it was a logical point. He took his tie from around the neck of the last guy he killed and put it over his collar and then folded it down over his tie. There was blood, that wasn’t his, splattered on his face.

“An asshole and a homicidal maniac. What did you get up to in the apocalypse?” Lalette asked, not at all bothered in the slightest by the scene before her. Or the fact Five was like an assassin or something and was caught up in something bigger than this apocalypse.

“I’ll tell you later. Are you going to continue to show me up, or are you going to let me kill these fuckers? They have it coming to them for thinking they had a chance of getting me to come peacefully or not.” Five waved his arms up, getting impatient.

He was getting his groove on.

Lalette looked at him, an eyebrow raised, a smirk on her pretty lips. Five stared at her, feeling some type of way.
She strode over, closer to him. She dropped the knife on the floor and it made a ringing clang on the tile.

Five watched her, wondering what she was doing and why she was looking at him, so familiarly?

She grabbed his tie, and pulled him close. Her other hand grabbed the side of his face as she then kissed him firmly.

Oh, that’s why it was so familiar. That was the look she always had on her pretty face when she wanted to kiss him. Five had 0 thoughts in his mind as he let his teenage hormones drive him, as he placed his hands on her hips as he let her kiss him.

She pulled away slightly, brushing her lips over his as she looked at him with hooded eyes. Five kept looking at her lips, trying to lean closer to kiss her again.

Lalette smirked, finally breaking away from him. Things never change. Five was still that pining teenage boy he was all those years ago.
“Now we don’t have time to unpack all of that. But I’ll let you get back to your fun.”

Her eyes resumed their normal, brown once more and she wandered back over to the counter, sitting down.

The soldiers unfroze and didn’t hesitate to continue to spray gunfire at Five.

“Fuck!” Five blinked to dodge, not expecting them to start up so fast. “You could’ve given me some warning!” He yelled at her, now standing behind one of the guys and continuing to murder the guys.

Stabbing one in the eye, getting the other two to shoot each other. He straightened out his clothes and walked back over to the guy he stabbed in the eye, crawling on the floor, still alive. Five bent down and snapped his neck and the guy went limp.

Lalette continued eating. Five grabbed the tracker and one of the dudes’ tactical knives and sat back down next to Lalette.

He placed his left arm upwards on the counter. He nodded at Lalette.

“You know, she changed the recipe. It’s not as good as I remember.” She said, placing the plate on the counter and placed her hand on Five’s bare arm. Something green glowed under his skin. “Thanks.” He muttered before digging the tip of the knife into his skin.

“It has a bitter flavor to it.” Lalette didn’t bat an eye at the gorey sight. Five threw the knife to the floor and then grunted as he stuck his fingers into the cut and dug around until he could get a hold of the tracking device embedded in his skin. “Do you mind?” He gestured to the blood pouring from his new flesh pocket. Lalette put her hand over the wound, blood seeping between her fingers. Five hissed at the burning. Lalette’s eyes lit up again and it traveled down through to her hand and the surrounding flesh around Five’s wound glowed from the inside, like he had a light inside it then it stopped. Lalette’s eyes died out and she removed herself from him. Blood still remained on her hand and on the surface of Five’s arm where it poured out but the wound was gone as if it never happened.

“I knew you’d be useful.” Five smiled teasingly at her. “And I knew you were hiding something.” She countered, standing up and grabbed her phone from her cardigan pocket and from her wallet case, she pulled out two 50 dollar bills and placed them on the counter, on top of the rubble. Five followed behind her, grabbing his tracking device and once they left the diner, he dropped it on the ground in a puddle of water by a sewer drain.

“You need to tell me what the fuck you’ve gotten yourself into.” Lalette said headstrong about it. She wasn’t going to let it go. “Also, I’m driving.”

“No, I’m driving.” Five blinked into the car, at the driver’s seat, already turning the car on.

Lalette placed her hand on the roof of it and the car died. Five leaned back, defeated.

“Do you even know where you’re going?” Lalette asked, leaning over to peer at him through the window. “No, but I don’t need you to drive to get there.” Five argued.

The window rolled down on its own and Lalette bent over to lean on the frame, getting eye level with Five. “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what the fuck just went on in there.”

“Well you’ve definitely got sex appeal, I’ll give you that.” Five sighed, patting his lap, getting more and more defeated. She was going to make him tell the truth and she was going to drive him insane while doing it. She had confidence, but she wasn’t cocky, or even demanding. She was stubborn but not stupid about it. She was different than before. She was hot.

“This isn’t really the time to flirt.” She replied, not at all flattered.

“Tell me, last I knew you weren’t a killer, yet you were in there not even batting an eye at it. You almost got off on it. When we were kids you had panic attacks before and after each mission at the sight of blood. There’s nothing in Vanya’s book either clueing in what shit you’ve seen.” Five continued, like he could change the subject.

“Sex, drugs, and rock & roll, baby. What about you, huh? You were good with what dad taught us, sure, but you also used to be a bitch about it. Now you’re a pro at it. I thought you were the only person alive in the future?” And she turned it back on him.

“All right, fine. You can drive. We’re going to Vanya’s place, wherever that is.” Five smiled up at her, like a good little boy. Lalette stared at him. “I will put that tracker back in you and wait for more of those guys to show up and ask them. Or you tell me. You choose.”

Fuck, she was hot when she was serious.

“And you just said it wasn’t time to flirt, but all right. They’re with The Commission, my past employer. And I wasn’t lying about the future. I was the only person there-- For 42 years I was alone until The Commission came to me. The whole organization manages the space-time continuum. They make sure that time goes the way it’s supposed to, that no one messes things up. They contacted me to be one of their contract killers, they assigned me orders to kill or protect whoever from any timeline at any time to make sure the timeline goes the way its supposed to. I had a five year contract with them but all I was doing was biding my time until I could figure out the correct formula to get back here. And they found out I went AWOL, voiding my contracted employment with them and now I’m a wanted man. Any questions?” Five looked up at her, awaiting a slew of questions from her.

Lalette continued to stare at him with skepticism. Then, “Who’s Delores?”

Five was thrown a curveball. He hadn’t brought her up at all. How did she know about her?

“You mentioned her earlier, actually you were talking to yourself, but you said Delores. Vanya asked you about it and you ignored the question. So now I’m asking.”

“I just told you about a secret society that controls all of time and space and that I am a contract killer on the run from them and you’re asking about a name I said hours ago?” Five asked, in disbelief. She had to be drunk still and was just good at masking it.

“She might pertain to your story, I don’t know. Who is she?”

Five sighed, aggravated. “She’s a mannequin that I gave a personality to when I was in the future. I was all alone for decades, I needed to talk to someone. She’s my partner, or she will be when you all die because you stop me from saving the world with all your stupid questions.”

Lalette blinked slowly, trying to process what the hell he just said. “And you didn’t bring her with you?” She pursed her lips to stop from laughing.

Five could tell she wasn’t taking him seriously about his isolation for several decades. He figured no one would understand that.

“I planned on it once I got things settled.”

“You’re insane.”

Five grimaced at her amusement.

She noticed it and tried to contain herself, reaching through to put a hand, lovingly to his face, cupping it gently. “Hey, I believe the whole Commission stuff, because what just happened in there-- That’s credible. But, you’re back home, with people-- Alive, real people. Hell, you have me. You don’t have to talk to a mannequin anymore to feel fulfillment.”

“Are you going to drive or what?” Five grabbed her hand and shoved it back out of the car. Regardless of his conflicted feelings towards either one now that things definitely changed from their original plan, he didn’t like her badmouthing Delores in any way. She was still his wife.

He knew how messed up it was, he didn’t need her throwing it back into his face.

Lalette raised her hands up in defense. “No, I’ll let you do it. You’re a pathetic basket-case, I gotta let you have something.” She finally stood up and walked around to the passenger side. Five rolled his eyes and waited for her to turn the car back on.

“Turn right on Baltimore onto 42nd street.” Lalette said, getting into the car as it turned on.

“Aye, aye, Captain.”

Chapter 5 Chapter Text

Lalette rummaged around Vanya’s small kitchen, looking for alcohol. “Fuck, we should’ve stopped somewhere. She doesn’t have shit.” She muttered, giving up, only finding a cooking sherry, a sweet rum and a half bottle of cheap vodka.

“So that’s why you and Klaus are so close now. You bond over your addiction.” Five commented crudely.

“I’m not an addict, Shortbread.” Lalette walked back over to the living room and sat down on the couch. They sat in darkness, waiting for Vanya to get home. Five wanted the element of surprise for dramatic flair.

“I read Vanya’s-”

“I never got hooked on shit. Yeah, I used my fair share of whatever party drug was getting passed around in my time, but after dad sent me to Briar Cliff, along with Klaus, but unlike him, I never used again until I left home. Now it’s just whenever it is offered after I get shitfaced at some party I’m invited to. Which doesn’t happen as often as it used to because surprisingly enough, coke only has so much appeal before it gets boring. It doesn’t give me a rush anymore. It just makes me anxious.” Lalette spoke coldly, not liking being treated like a drug addict like Klaus. She loved Klaus, she really did. But she didn’t like his addiction. Maybe as a teen, she enjoyed the perks of it, but now it wasn’t a cool personality trait. It was sad.

“What happened to you, Lalette? You used to be daddy’s little good girl and then all of a sudden you’re a mess.” Five leaned forward, genuinely interested. Lalette, in turn, leaned back on the couch, no longer able to even look in his direction.

“I got tired of his shit, that’s what. I got tired of being controlled, being tested on, being told what to do, how to feel. And once he kicked me off the team for “being a liability”, I took that as my out. I left, got a job, survived through college, got a gig as a tech for some record company and shot up to the top until I got signed.”

“But how did it start?”

“What?”

“The drinking, the using, any of it..”

Lalette sucked in a deep inhale. “Klaus was sneaking out and I tagged along one night and got drunk, got high, completely blacked out, lost my virginity, I think, and woke up in some stranger’s basement. I felt like shit in the morning, and I could barely remember the night before but I felt free for the first time in a long time after you-......I was 16, of course I was going to rebel. We all did, eventually.” Lalette said, getting more and more defensive. And Five knew he was digging into a sensitive spot.

“So you became a wannabe punk? It doesn’t suit you, by the way.” Five sat back, crossing his legs. He wasn’t going to delve any deeper into what he was more curious about. That would be for another time if he ever got the courage to actually ask her because she wasn’t going to say it outright.

“Okay, fuck off. And also, it’s my style. I like it, so that’s all that matters, also there’s a lot of people who like it.” Lalette shot back.

“No, they just like you because you’re a gray area. Creeps can fuck you without it being statutory rape.” Five dismissed rashly.

“They’re hot and rich and they fuck good. As long as they’re not going after actual minors, so fucking what? And what would you know about shit? You’re probably still a virgin, unless you count what you do to Dolores.”

“Don’t talk about her like that!” Five snapped at her.

“Okay, whatever, virgin.” Lalette scoffed. She couldn’t wrap her head around any of that. He was actually talking about a mannequin like a real person. And she felt jealous of it.

“You think that bothers me? I jumped into the future and got stuck, all alone for 42 years, then got hired as an assassin. If the fact I might’ve not had the time to be a hormonal teenager and fuck someone bothers you, then that says more about you than me.” Five countered without a beat.

“The fact I’m not the same person I was before you left bothers you. That says a lot.” Lalette argued back, but she really didn’t have much to actually say but she couldn’t let him have the last word and actually have a point.

“Like what? I miss my sister? That I feel bad that something happened to her that made her into an alcoholic goth-whore who only seems to have a bond with Klaus of all people?”

“Well if everyone else stopped leaving or dying, maybe I could’ve had a better start at it.” Lalette commented, offhandedly. She crossed her arms, refusing to look at him.

“So you are mad that I left.” Five said, pointedly. Lalette’s face dropped as she realized what she just said. She still couldn’t meet his gaze as she shook her head with a long exhale.

“I never said I was mad at you for it, I just-- Look, I.. I loved you. My whole life revolved around you, all I wanted was to leave the house and have the life I always wanted, with you. But then you left, and I never had the time to process it before Klaus got really bad, and then Ben died... I....- I just lost all the people I cared about. I had no one to keep me in place, no one to keep me biting my tongue, or stopping me from going out with Klaus and saying it was a really bad idea to listen to him. It was my fault, I can’t blame anyone else for it. But all the loss was too much and dad never let me feel it fully, without trying to blame me or throw me into more training. I just couldn’t do it anymore. And it was stupid to get into partying and drugs, but thankfully I dragged myself out of it. And spite made me pull myself out of my dark hole of self-pity and worked hard and became something that I’m proud of. .. But I never was mad at you, or blamed you for how I turned out. It’s just how things went. So, whatever, I don’t want to talk about it. What happened, happened and it’s just how things are. End of discussion.”

Five was quiet for a moment. He swallowed the lump in his throat. For the first several years it hurt terribly. He missed his family, but her most of all. He thought about her all the time, he wondered how she was, how she was growing up, what she was doing now that he was gone from her timeline. If she ever moved on from him, if she fell in love with someone else, got her big white wedding, nuclear family and white picket fence life like she always dreamed of having. Like she wanted with him.

He regretted not holding her hand longer than he should have, to tell her how pretty she was even more often, to maybe kiss her deeper, to tell her he loved her.

Of course, even more years went by. Five accepted his fate to be forever stuck in the future, never returning to his family, dying all alone.

Now he was back and with eight days to stop that fate from happening again, to stop his family, Lalette from dying.

It had been decades since he felt this way towards her. He blamed the puberty he was being subjected to once more.

But it was far more dangerous than he forebode. She apparently was feeling the same attraction, and she had indeed acted on it. And Five was such a fool, showing it back.

“If it means anything, I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to get stuck and for a long time I wondered how it affected you and now that I know how you felt, it just makes that regret even worse. But, the world is going to end if we don’t do something. There isn’t time to... see where we might go, but if we don’t die, maybe there might be something to reconnect on.” He meant it even. He didn’t know what underlying meaning it had, but he didn’t want to think about it, to get hope that there was a chance to relive his childhood and maybe act on those childhood desires. He didn’t even want to think of wanting to do anything with Lalette. That would only be a thoughtless distraction.

Lalette didn’t respond. She felt her eyes prickle and she felt her chest grow heavy. She got up and decided that the cheap vodka would suffice.

And ten minutes later, and one strong Screwdriver down, Vanya came home. Her keys jingled as she unlocked the door and came in. Before she closed the door, Five reached up and flicked the lamp on. Vanya jumped and gasped in surprise. “Jesus!”

“You should have locks on your windows.” Five said, like that was alluding to how they got in. It in fact wasn’t.

“I live on the second floor,” Vanya argued with a solid point. “Rapists can climb.” Five countered, as if it was a logical point.

“You are so weird.” Vanya closed the door, set her keys down and slung her jacket over the couch.

“You two are a team again, I see.” Vanya sat down next to Lalette. “Not really.” Her sister denied. Five had nothing to say about it.

“Is that blood?” Vanya noticed the dried blood on Lalette’s chest. “Oh, I missed a spot.” She licked her thumb and scrubbed at the blood that she missed.

Then she swiped her thumb on her other sleeve. “You could’ve used a towel or something.” Vanya cringed at her. “I already did. I guess I just missed a spot.” Lalette replied. “Hopefully it’s mine. Cause then it’s really gross”

“Whose blood would it be?” Vanya asked, horrified. She looked over to Five for an answer, only seeing he also had blood on him. But his was dried in his hair and clothes, all over like it was splattered on him. He wore it like a badge, he didn’t care to clean it up or change clothes.

“It’s nothing.” Five didn’t care to say.

“Why are you here?” Vanya asked. Five sat up straighter. “I’ve come to the decision that you’re the only person I can trust. She’s here because she won’t stop following me.” Five nodded over to Lalette.

“I keep making fun of his relationship with Delores.” “Delores?”

“Not important. What is important is that you’ll listen. Do you know what I found in the future?” Five started up his monologue.

“No.” Vanya shook her head. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. As far as I could tell, I was the only person left alive. I never figured out what killed the human race, but I did find something else. The date it happens. The world ends in eight days, and I have no idea how to stop it.”

Vanya gaped for a moment. “I’ll put on a pot of coffee.”

“I’ll take another drink.” Lalette raised her glass at her sister. “Where’d you get- Are you drinking my vodka?” Vanya gasped.

“It’s shit stuff, I’ll buy something good. Something better than this bog water.” Lalette waved it off.

“I don’t need you to buy me things, just ask before you drink my alcohol!”

“I survived on scraps. Canned food, cockroaches, anything I could find.- No, twinkies didn’t last long.” Five answered Lalette before she actually made a noise. Vanya gave him a confused look. “That rumor going around that twinkies last forever is total bullshit. Two months max.” Five clued her in.

“I can’t even imagine what that must’ve been like.”

“You do what it takes to survive, or you die. So we adapted. Whatever the world threw at us, we overcame it.” Five started to speak in plural again.

““We”?”

“Delores.” Lalette said.

“Who is that?” Vanya asked again. Five took another sip of his coffee before scowling at it. “Anything stronger around here?”

“I think Lallie just finished off my vodka. I have rum.” Vanya got up and went to the kitchen. “Yeah, and for what? It tastes like shit and I’m not even drunk yet.” Lalette grimaced as she finished her third screwdriver.

They all went into the kitchen and Vanya poured Five a glass of rum. It was weak in color. Probably cheap. Like everything else in Vanya’s apartment. It would have to do though.

“You think I’m crazy.” Five accused Vanya after taking a swig. “No, it’s just-.. It’s a lot to take in.” Vanya excused. “Just what exactly don’t you understand?” Five sharply replied.

“Well- Well, why didn’t you just time travel back?” Vanya asked innocently enough. Five scoffed, “Gee, wish I would’ve thought of that. Time travel is a crapshoot. I went into the ice and never acorn-ed. You think I didn’t try everything to get back to my family?” He pointedly responded.

“Well, if you grew old in the future, how come you look like this?” Vanya asked. Five shook his head. No one was getting it. At least Lalette pretended to get it.

“I told you already.” He started to get angry, getting frustrated again. He went to pour himself another drink. “I must’ve gotten the equation wrong.”

“Well dad always said that time-travel could mess with your mind... Maybe that’s what’s happening?” Vanya tried to guess.

Five took a drink and then put his glass down on the counter a little harshly. “This was a mistake, you’re too young, too naive to understand.” Five went to the door.

“Five, wait!” Vanya called after him, getting him to stop at the door. “I haven’t seen you in a long time, I don’t want to lose you again. That’s all. And you know what, it’s getting late. I have lessons early and I have to sleep, and I’m sure you do too. Here, I only have the couch-- Lalette, you can share the bed with me if you want.” Vanya went to make up the couch for Five.

“We’ll talk in the morning, when we’ve all had some sleep-- And get sober again. I promise we’ll talk.”

“I’m gonna have a quick drink then wash up. Don’t want to get your bedsheets all dirty. I promise to be quiet.” Lalette said, waving her glass up. “Okay. Night.” Vanya walked off to her bedroom, closing the door.

Lalette gagged at the taste of not rinsing her glass out before pouring rum into it and getting a taste of the odd mixture.

Five sat down on the couch, taking out the glass eye from the cloth pouch he kept on him at all times. Lalette joined him. “What’s that?”

“It’s the only clue I have to getting to the bottom of this.” Five replied. “When I found Luther’s body, he was holding this. And that’s the only lead I have.”

“Mantech. They have an office uptown. I’m not exactly sure where, but I’m sure we can figure it out.” Lalette said while trying to lean towards him.

“No, you stay here and get some rest. Sleep off all the poison in your system.” Five didn’t want her to come along.

“And what? You’re gonna go off on your own?” She looked at him. “Yes. I am.” Five went to stand up, Lalette grabbed his hand, which made him pause and look down at her sullen expression.

“You’re not alone anymore. You don’t have to do it on your own. You have me. Look, you know I believe you, I just... When you’ve never gone through it yourself, it’s hard to picture. But I do believe you, and I want to help. So let me. I’ll stop making jokes if that’s what’s been bothering you. I just wanted things to be how they used to be.”

“You’re tired, so get some sleep. You’re no use to me being tired.” Five didn’t look at her. He was battling it in his head. He was conflicted. She was useful. She had far better control of her powers than he expected, and out of the others she was the smartest and the most adaptive. But was it worth all the emotional attachment?

“You’re tired as well. I didn’t close your wound with my energy, you have to be exhausted.” Lalette held his hand tighter, more securely. His hands were soft and slender, warm-- bigger than hers. She never thought she’d miss something so innocent. She just wished he’d hold hers back.

She was feeling like a kid again.

Five pulled his hand away from her, finally. “I’m fine. I don’t need sleep.”

“Well, neither do I.” Lalette argued.

“I don’t want your help.” Five finally admitted.

He walked towards the door, and paused before grabbing the handle, which was a fatal mistake, because that gave Lalette time to catch up and wrap her arms around him from behind, holding him tight.

She rested the side of her head to the back of his.

He froze, waiting to see what else she was going to do.

This warmth, the tingle of another’s touch, but not just anyone; Her.

It felt like home, something he hadn’t felt in 45 years.

“And that one is Ursa Major.” He pointed up at the night sky. “I don’t see it.” Eight replied, getting frustrated because she was having a hard time seeing what he was.
“It’s right... Come here, look where I am.” Five instructed. “How do I... You mean, like this?” Eight laid back, scooting in close, against his body, and she turned to place her head on his shoulder, forehead against his chin as she turned to look up at the sky with him.
“Yeah, like that.” Five wrapped his arm around her tightly to also use it to point up. “Now, right there, follow my finger. That bright star there?”
“Okay, I see that.”
“And then those three that follow it, like that.”
“Yeah,”
“See that’s the body and then there’s-”
“Wait, I see it now!” Eight gasped, finally seeing the big shape of stars.
“There you go.” He said with a bat to her shoulder.
“That is so cool!” Eight exclaimed and after a moment, slowly started to sit up. Five readjusted his arm around her, tightening his hold. “No, stay. I like feeling close to you.”
“I do too.” She relaxed back into him.

“I feel the same as Vanya does. I just got you back and I feel like the moment you’re out of sight, I won’t see you again and I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose you again.” Her voice trembled.

Yeah, she was tired and all the alcohol was going to slow her down more. Or maybe if she was given enough time to recharge she could use her powers to sober up again and maybe revitalize.

“You’re not going to. I’m just going out, not disappearing forever.” Five’s voice softened, understanding that it was a legitimate fear.

“Did you think that the last time as well?” Lalette asked, making him inhale deeply. She had a good point.

“I’m not going to be doing any time traveling. I won’t make the same mistake again.”

“I don’t want to lose you again.” Lalette repeated, much softer, hiding the fact she was near to tears.

“You won’t. Come on, let’s get going then.” Five couldn’t say no to her, his will was slowly breaking down.

And just a couple minutes into the ride, Lalette was asleep.

“Some things never change, huh?” Five shook his head, a slight smile on his face as he watched the road.

“I knew you were tired. You don’t get emotional like that for any other reason.” He was used to talking to someone who wasn’t listening.

“Even when we were kids, you never cried unless you were tired. I probably shouldn’t bring it up, but don’t you remember when I’d get you to fall asleep by reading to you? You hated sleep because you said you missed me too much when you were sleeping so I’d have to bore you to sleep, talking about my theories. Maybe you don’t remember it, but I do.”

He sighed, as he pulled up into the garage.

Finding the owner of the eye would have to wait till morning.

Chapter 6 Chapter Text

The door opened and Lalette gasped, grabbing her bath towel and covering herself. “Jesus fuck!”

“Good, you’re awake.” Five barely blinked at her immodest state.

Her hair was damp and she was fresh faced. She looked like a child, as she should. But, something changed. This version of her didn’t make him feel the same as it did. Now without the makeup, he could accurately see how much she had changed from all those years ago. Her cheeks were slimmer in the hollows, her eyes were more mature, and her chin was more pronounced.

Just a day before he jumped back in time, he saw her with the eyes of a man in his late 50’s. She would’ve been nothing by an innocent baby.

The image of her burned into his head, for 45 years was different. It no longer was just reminiscent. He found her beautiful once more. Not innocent and childlike. Which made sense, he was a teenager once more. He’d find people his age attractive.

Well not his age, but- This whole time traveling bullshit made things so more complicated.

Damn these teenage hormones as he could barely keep his eyes off the shadow of her cleavage.

“Get out and let me get dressed!” Lalette waved her arm, like trying to swat at him to go away.

Five turned his back and sighed. “I went to Mantech right as they opened.”

“I said-.. Wait, you went without me?” Lalette was now more bothered that he went without her, when he said she could go with, rather than the most privacy he was giving her was trusting that he wouldn’t turn back around.

“You weren’t waking up for anything and I wasn’t going to wait around.” Five said.

Lalette continued to get dressed. “And?”

“Nothing. Patient confidentiality bullshit. But I have a plan.”

“Okay? What’s this big plan of yours?”

“You have money, right?”

“Yes...?”

“Great, so I told Klaus I’d give him $20 to dress up like a professional adult and help me get information since no one takes me seriously when I’m like this.”

“Welcome to my world.” Lalette muttered, as she fastened her belt. “You couldn’t get anyone else to play a more plausible parental figure?”

Five took the sound of her belt clicking as the sign that she was dressed, which she was. This was far more acceptable than yesterday’s outfit.

A two toned cropped hoodie and black cargo pants with daisies printed on either pant leg, a beige belt and white sneakers. Her midriff still was on display but that was the only thing.

But she didn’t look like she was trying too hard. But she had just gotten out of the shower, so who knew if she was done yet.

But seeing her fresh face, she was just as he remembered her. Plush skin, with warm undertones-- Her cheeks, so delicately pink. Her lips were soft and pink. Her eyes looked open and young.

He felt himself wanting to go play house with her.

He cleared his throat and loosened his tie just a bit more so he could breathe. “Luther’s an idiot, Diego is in jail, Allison is too recognizable and Vanya-- She’s just not right for it. The only hope I have is Klaus, and he’s currently sober right now, it’s perfect.”

“So is there anything you want me to do?” Lalette walked over to her vanity and brushed her hair back so it’d dry out of her face.

“Yeah, stay just as you are. Don’t put any of that clown makeup on. You look prettier without it.”

“Wha- Listen Short-fuck, the audacity you think you have to tell me how to dress myself is absolutely baffling. What I do with myself is my choice and I’d much rather dress for myself rather than to please you.” Lalette gave him a hard look. Five shook his head subtly as he rolled his eyes. “I’m just telling you, and believe me, everyone else would agree as well.”

“Even more reason to do what I want. Besides, I would’ve figured you would like that overdone, plastic look. It’s your type from the sounds of it.”

Five scowled at her for her comment and opened his mouth to argue. “You know what? Stay here. You’re more useful when you’re not annoying the fuck out of me. I can actually think that way.”

“Someone has to supervise you so you don’t fuck Allison’s old barbies.” Lalette quipped as a farewell as Five turned around and swiftly exited her room with a harsh slam of her bedroom door.

Lalette sat down on her bed, biting the inside of her cheek as she stared at her door waiting for him to come back, also debating to go after him. Every moment he wasn’t in her sight, she feared she wouldn’t see him again.

She decided to let him go for now, she needed a break to process her own emotions.

Like for one thing, everything everyone else said was true. The moment Five would reappear (if ever) she would be at his feet once more. No matter how she tried to prove otherwise because she had worked so hard to convince herself that he wouldn’t come back.

But here he was, and she didn’t want to risk him leaving again.

She opened her phone and scrolled through her notifications. The way she was willing to forward most of it to April to handle because she was too occupied with the end of the world. How would she even start to explain that to April? Would she think she had another melt down? Another drug relapse?

Perhaps it’d be best not to say anything at all. Just say family drama is dragging out the whole thing and she’ll be staying at home for longer than anticipated. Good thing she was on a break, working on her next album.

She hadn’t been on social media in a while! She groaned, opening up her instagram and quickly created a story so no one would get too suspicious about her absence.

Her phone vibrated with a new text message. Tae Bae <3

The name alone had her stomach in her throat. That was right. She was in a casual “relationship”. Booty Calls turned into something more neither one wanted to admit to for two years.

His texts always had created butterflies and she’d smile like a love-stricken idiot and now she was sick to remember that other men besides Five even existed.

There was no denying the fact she was back to square one. Five was back home and suddenly she was back in love with him, obsessed with his very being.

She couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss and that’s all she could think of. He kissed her back and obviously wanted more! So it was requited!

He felt the same even after all this time.

But what did she do with this information? The world was ending, according to Five.

She had yet to wrap her head around that still. What did that even mean? How did the world end? How did they all die?

Would it all end at once? Or was it a chain of events?

The idea of dying wasn’t something she had considered in years. Could she even die?

Terminal wounds always healed with no problem, she had overdosed on large enough doses to kill a family of elephants and yet she was still here and kicking.

But Five swore that even she would die in this apocalypse.

What if he just had a schizophrenic break while alone by himself in the future?

Lalette laid down on her bed with a loud groan. She was just a 29 year old teenager! She couldn’t handle all of this emotion at once!

Another vibration from her phone. She sat up and made up her mind.

“And?-- What the fuck happened in there?” Lalette asked, waiting for them. She had been sitting on the stone steps outside of Mantech for 45 minutes because she left so long after them, she had no choice but to wait.

Klaus’s hair was soaked, and so was the front of his suit. There was glitter and sequins in his hair and stuck to the side of his face. And then there was the blood coming from his scalp, dripping down his face. But he was laughing, so he seemed to be fine and it made Lalette wonder if they found what they were looking for.

And Five’s bottom lip was swollen and bled a bit.

“It doesn’t matter.” He grumbled with a scowl.

“What, why? What’s the big deal with this eye anyways, huh?” Klaus asked. “There’s someone in the next seven days who’s going to lose an eye and bring about the end of the world as we know it.” Five paced away.

“So nothing?” Lalette asked, as Klaus spoke over her. “Yeah, so can I get my 20 bucks now?”

“Your 20 bucks?” Five scoffed at him. “Yeah, my 20 bucks.” Klaus repeated.

“The apocalypse is coming and all you’re worried about is getting high?” Five snapped up at him.

But Klaus just smirked. “Well, I am a bit hungry. We never stopped for breakfast. Tummy’s a-rumblin’.” He wiggled his fingers around his stomach and imitated a gurgling noise.

Lalette grabbed her wallet and pulled out a fifty. “There, and another thirty to shut up.”

“Ooh, Lollie is so gracious! Unlike mister grumpy over there.” Klaus took the bill without hesitation. “You’re useless. You’re all useless!” Five huffed and walked over to the stone steps and sat down.

“Oh, lighten up, old man.” Klaus groaned at him.

“Five,” Lalette said, about to ask him for more details.

“You know, I get it now; Why you’re so uptight. You must be horny as hell!” Klaus giggled and he sat down by his brother. “You know, all those years alone. I figured you two would’ve been in kinky heaven fucking like bunnies, both stuck in puberty.” Klaus gestured between his two siblings. Lalette flipped him off.

“I wasn’t alone. I had someone.” Five said suddenly, getting sentimental.

Lalette rolled his eyes and sighed, staring to the side. She didn’t want to hear about his weird relationship with a mannequin. “Oh, pray tell.” Klaus pushed him.

“Her name was Delores. We were together for over 30 years.” Five replied.

Lalette bit the inside of her cheek. She hated hearing about him talk about a fucking mannequin like it was a real person who actually loved him.

And she hated that she was getting jealous.

“Thirty years? Wow. I can’t imagine being with someone for that long. I think my longest one was like three weeks, only because I got tired of looking for a place to crash.” Klaus said.

And suddenly Five disappeared.

“Fucking christ, that bitch!” Lalette looked around to see if she could see where he jumped to. “Where’d he run off to?” Klaus asked. “He..” Lalette thought hard about it before getting a pit in her stomach. “He’s going to go find her.”

“Is the department store still around?” Five asked the tow trucker. “Yeah, on 34 Avenue?”

“That’s the place.”

Where else would you find a mannequin? At a clothing store.

“Delores.-- It’s good to see you. I’ve missed you.- Obviously. Well, I...” Five paused, like he was hearing someone talk. “It’s been a rough couple of days.”

The lights flickered all around him. The dim display lights, the exit signs, the overhead lights-- All started to flicker at their own individual speed until all the lights turned on.

Five turned around, to look for whoever caught him but then he just glowered.

“Go home, Lalette.”

She had both hands on her hips as she smirked proudly. She snuck in after him, without detection until she could have her dramatic entrance. As if she hadn’t been scoping out all the stores in the area all day until she finally found the right one. “Only if you do.”

“No, I had to find her. And you’re not going to stop me and I don’t want you to third wheel us.”

Lalette took a hesitant step forward, debating whether or not to get closer.

“Five, come on, you’re not alone anymore. You don’t have to survive on cockroaches anymore, you don’t have to make up a friend to stay sane. I get it, you had her for 30 years, and to you it was all real but you get to start over now, you get to make real connections with people that are real.” Lalette tried to talk some sense into him. She looked past him at the three mannequins, the one in the center was the one he had been talking to.

Most of the mannequins in the store were modern featureless ones, but these three in the senior women department still had that matte painted on faces of years passed. The makeup was dramatic, the eyes hooded and cat-like, modeling the style of the 60’s.

Five always liked vintage aesthetic so it wasn’t too out of left field, at least the thing he gave a personality to and fell in love with had a face.

“What does it matter to you, anyway?” Five put his hands in his pockets, looking down at her. Lalette swallowed. “I just care about you. That’s it.” She couldn’t bare to say that she still loved him after all this time- That she was jealous over a fucking hunk of plastic.

“I get it now. You’re jealous.” Five deviously fired back. Lalette’s eyes widened, like a deer caught in headlights. She shook her head slightly, trying to get him to not pry further.

“Look, it’s complicated, I’ll admit. The last time we were together, we were together and I had a couple moments of weakness, but what we had is over. I’ve changed, you’ve changed. We’re two different people, it’s just time to give up and move on. I love Delores now.” Five said, sternly. Five hated that he did this. But now that he was there, seeing Delores, he couldn’t leave her. She needed to know what it was like to live with a full body, no death and isolation.

Lalette was a love from another life, from a previous version of him that he grew out of. He was a kid then, now he’s a man.

And he was out there feeling like a kid again, getting caught up in old emotions. He had to get his head clear and Delores was the cure.

Lalette was just making it more complicated. Why couldn’t she just go back to her life in California, where she forgot about her childhood, where she forgot about Five?

Lalette’s jaw tensed as her eyes glossed over. But before she could let the overwhelming stabbing really set in, the lights shut off again.

“See? You’re only proving it further.” Five gloated, he shined his flashlight in her face. “I didn’t do that, asshole.” She shielded her face with a hand from the bright light.

“Then who did-- Shit!” Five turned around back to Delores to see two dark figures carrying rifles.

Just as gunfire started, Five blinked and grabbed Lalette and shoved her with him out of the line of fire.

Lalette’s stomach dropped as she felt the warm trickle down her arm, but the pain had yet to set in. It was warm and it felt like a major pressure on her collar. Immense dread hit her. She could barely think, but she felt zapped with adrenaline and so for some reason it made her decide not to say anything or make it noticeable.

Five peeked out of the aisle to get a peak. From the blasts of each round, he could see flashes of their masks and tuxedos. “Fuck, it’s them!”

Their bullets decimated the three mannequins.

“Who?” Lalette shouted over the gunfire. Five didn’t answer as he ran back out to grab what was left of Delores. “Five!” Lalette gasped.

Five blinked and was back next to Lalette and he grabbed her around the shoulders and took her on the next jump to behind the jewelry display. The sensation was like going down a rollercoaster. Her stomach felt like it was in her throat.

“Don’t let them find you. I’ll try to keep them on me, get out, don’t die.” He said it so briefly before jumping again.

But it was too quick for him to notice Lalette’s face pale and her hoodie started to darken with blood. Or that there was blood on his right hand, where he touched around her new hole. His mind was running at full speed to notice something so miniscule.

Gunfire exploded from two moving directions.

“Did you see that?” Cha-Cha shouted to her partner. “Yeah, they said he was special. So now what?” Hazel asked. “Spread out, shoot anything that moves!” Cha-Cha said.

And so with loud, fast paced footsteps the two assassins walked around, looking for any signs of movement. They shot with no hesitation at the smallest fragment of motion, even their own shadows, there was no time to think about it.

Shoot now, ask questions later.

Lalette tried to heal, her eyes strobed and she grunted trying to focus. But nothing happened. The first case display shattered with close firing. Lalette had no time, she ran for it, fire chasing right behind her. Her head felt like lead and her eyes unfocused. She was sweating heavily, but was freezing. She could feel the dull impact in her stomach and right thigh. Two major body parts that would bleed out like crazy.

Her heart beated so fast she felt like she couldn’t breathe.

Every small light started to strobe as she tried to take the energy. But she couldn’t focus.

Lalette found an exit as she heard sirens. She peered over at the entrance to see blue and red flashing. And the scopes on their guns pointed right at Five, stood frozen in their line of sight. He had a green tote bag slung over his shoulder, Delores barely tucked inside of it. Her torso was shattered and she only had one arm left.

Out of panic, Lalette did the last thing she could. Every light shattered with a loud pop, the ones in the ceiling, the emergency lights,the small display lights’ boards overheating and popping.

It was pitch black and it was the slightest enough distraction for Five to jump over a cashier counter and hide.

“Shit, he jumped again!” Hazel said. “Let’s go!” Cha-Cha said.

Five would have to thank Lalette later. And he’d have to come up with the best apology speech because after that last stunt, it was enough for him to get away because he was out of stamina to jump.

As he found an exit, he tripped over something big.

“Police!” The doors opened and flashlights blared into the store. It was just enough.

“Fuck.” Five cursed, “come on, we have to go!” He tried to pull on her hand, but she didn’t get up with him. She was limp.

“Lalette, come on, we got to run!”

Nothing.

Another pile of rubble, another burnt up corpse. Another-- There was a hand, extended, holding something up. Five let go of the wagon handle and told Delores to wait for him-- As if she was going anywhere.
He ran over to see that was the bloodied eye-- No, it was a prosthetic eye covered in blood. He grabbed it out of the stiff glove covered hand to examine it closer. That was odd.
He looked at the person who held it, who were they?
He froze at the face. It was an adult man with blonde, buzz-short hair, he had blue eyes and he had a big strong jaw-- Number One. The years added up. His family would be in their 30’s now. This was a taller, wider, gorilla of a man but the face was uncanny.
His eyes watered, he looked around at his surroundings to find clues as to what happened.
There was another body covered in ash and broken bricks from the collapsed building. Dried blood.
Two.
Another punch in the gut. Not too far from him, Three.
“No!”
He needed to find out what happened to his family. He ran around to find more information.
Four. His arm extended out, his Umbrella Academy tattoo on display, solidifying the fact this was indeed Five’s family.
“Eight! No!”
Two bodies laying next to each other, hands reaching for each other. One of them, a white woman obviously in her 30’s. Seven.
What shocked him more was the girl she was reaching out to was Eight. It knocked the air out of him. She looked like the same girl he remembered just before standing up to dad.
Her body was covered in ash and rubble. Blood dried to her skin. It had pooled around her eyes and her nose, and down her neck from her ears.
She stared out to nothing in front of her.

“Lalette, come on, we have to go!”

Blood dripped from her nose, and out the corner of her right eye. But most noticeably, her entire body was covered in sticky blood. Her eyes were open, shaking subtle side to side. She was still alive.

He told her not to-!

There wasn’t a second to think about it. He used his remaining energy to hull her over his shoulder, hooking the strap of the bag in his elbow and let Delores hang from his side awkwardly.

“Come on, Eight, hold on, I’m gonna get us home.”

“Mom!” Five shouted, blinking into the foyer of the house. He was running on fumes, blinking so much when his body could barely stay standing up.

“Mom!” His voice cracked as he yelled as loud as he could.

“Master Five, what is the matter?” Pogo walked over to him, hearing the boy shout so frantically.

“Lalette’s hurt! She’s lost a lot of blood!” Five explained urgently.. “I need mom!”

“I’ll get her right away, take her to the infirmary, Master Five.” Pogo hobbled on his cane as fast as he could towards the kitchen.

Five didn’t hesitate a second.

Getting into the small infirmary room with a metal surgical bed in the middle of the tiled room, he almost gave out entirely, only barely tossing her onto her back on it.

“Lalette, answer me! Come on, use your powers! What are you waiting for!” He cupped her face, her eyes were closed now. “Wake up and heal yourself!” He raised his voice, like he was getting irritatingly impatient with her.

Mom’s heels clicked with Pogo’s cane as they both entered the room.

She got ahead getting sanitized like a professional surgeon.

“What happened?” Pogo asked. “I was..-” Five paused, he didn't want to tell the truth. “She followed me and she got hurt because of it.”

Mom cut her hoodie in the middle to reveal the wounds, one large hole in her right upper pectoral muscle, under her collar. Another in her abdomen.

“Why isn’t she healing?!” Five couldn’t help but sound furious, as he demanded answers from mom.

“There’s no exit hole, the bullet is still in there, it’s preventing her from healing.” Mom answered calmly, as she grabbed saline to flush the blood away.

“Can you save her?”

Mom looked at him with no expression on her robot face. “If I can get the wounds clean before she bleeds out.”

“Let Grace do her job, Master Five. Go get cleaned up, I’ll come find you when there’s good news.” Pogo tried to calm him down.

Five retracted from his gentle touch. “No, what if something happens?”

“Your father programmed Grace to be a master at her craft. There’s nothing she can’t fix.”

He changed the timeline coming back. What if she died before she was supposed to? And it’d be his fault?

Why did he go after Delores?

Why did he let Lalette follow him in the first place? Why did he let her get so close to him all over again?

Chapter 7 Chapter Text

Five went back down, when Pogo gave him the word that Lalette was awake.

He walked in on her putting her cut up hoodie on like it was meant to be a jacket now. It was stiff with dried blood. She had already shuffled on her crunchy pants.

Lalette’s body had been wiped down thoroughly by mom, but blood still creased under her eyes and in the corners.

“You could ask for new clothes to wear.” Five said as if he wasn’t breathless to see her alive.

Lalette didn’t respond. She had torn off her heart monitor and I.V. filled with saline and antibiotics. She had a bandage over her shoulder and one large one covering the left side of her abdomen.

She walked over to the mirror in the corner and she started to tear the bandages and gauze off, glaring at it like it was a hindrance.

Underneath it, both wounds were nothing more than scars in the shape of the bullet wounds. But it was as if it happened several years ago.

She touched over the one on her collar, it was still sore. The skin was bumpy and hard. Scar tissue.

“Why didn’t you say anything? You got hit at the very beginning, didn’t you? Why didn’t you say anything to me!” Five started to raise his voice. It aggravated him only because it made him feel guilty, regretful, it made him remember how he used to think.

Lalette didn’t react in the slightest. It was as if she didn’t hear him at all.

She patted her pants pocket, confirming her phone was there and she went to leave.

“Answer me, Lalette!” Five grabbed her by the shoulders and made her face him.

Her eyes were bloodshot, she had dark circles and bags under them. Her face still lacked color.

Her exhausted eyes only bored fire into his. She had nothing to say.

Was she mad at him for getting her hurt? Like it was his fault? Technically it was, even though he told her not to go and she followed after him on her own accord.

But Cha-Cha and Hazel were there just for him, she was just a road bump. They’d kill her just for the hell of it.

Or was she mad at him for what happened before it?

Mad that he still brought Delores back or at what he said?

He didn’t really mean it. Or he refused to analyze and say which parts he meant or didn’t mean.

“Don’t give me the silent treatment. I brought you home. I carried you all the way here! It’s because of me you’re still alive!”

Although she could say the same thing. He’s alive because of her.

He could’ve at least said he was returning the favor.

Lalette rolled her eyes and shrugged his hands off her.

“You can be such a self-centered bitch sometimes, you know that?” Five called after her. Lalette flipped him off, walking out the doors.

Five took a moment to pace around to breathe. He couldn’t go back to Delores in such a distressed state. He couldn’t let her know her fears could be true after all these decades of reassuring her that they weren’t.

Not that he really thought he’d get to come back and see his family again-- See Lalette again. But nonetheless, the promises he made to Delores would never get broken.

But what about the promises he made to Lalette? It made his head pound. Fuck, he just had to go and remember that.

Whatever, he was a naive kid back then, those promises would never hold up now.

“I wish that one day I’m going to have a family of my own. I’m going to get married and have only two kids because I don’t want them to ever feel lonely but none of them will ever feel forgotten. My husband is going to be tall and handsome and he’s going to do everything I ask because he loves me!”
“I feel like that’s more than one wish.” Five said in a mutter, frowning at Eight’s backside as she sat up, staring up at the night sky
“Then I have to come out here and stargaze every night to increase my chances of seeing another shooting star and then I’ll get all my wishes to come true!” She turned her head to look back at him determined.
“That’s so stupid to waste a wish on.” He shook his head at her.
“No it’s not!” Eight stood up to stomp over and glare down at Five, still sitting on the blanket on the rooftop.
“I’ll just marry you so you know it’ll happen. So use your wishes for something cool, like a new dad.” Five said while looking to the side, unable to look at her while he said something so intimate.
“We can’t get married, we’re siblings!” Eight crossed her arms and puffed her cheeks out at him.
“With my smarts and your creativity, I’m sure we’ll figure it out. There’s nothing we can’t do when we’re together!” Five looked back up at her, watching her gaze soften at him.
“Promise me, Five.” She said, nearly pleading.
“Promise what?”
“That we’ll be together forever. In whatever way we can.” She kneeled down in front of him and reached for his hands to hold in hers.
“Of course I promise. I’ll promise forever for you, Eight.”

“Oh, sure, get drunk. That’s the only thing you’re good at.” Five said, walking back into the living area, in the far back at the bar, Lalette was behind it looking for a glass for the bottle of tequila she acquired.

Still no response.

The time it took to walk across the house to sit at the bar, Five already regretted it.

“Okay, that’s not true. There’s plenty of things you’re good at.” His voice softened, as he watched her find a crystal glass and pour a generous amount.

“Like for example, you have really great control of your powers. You left, what? When you were 16? That only gave you two years to practice under the academy after I left, so it’s obvious you gained better skill over it on your own without dad’s instruction. I mean, I got more control over mine on my own as well. But the rest of them? They’re just the same as they were. In fact, I think they all got more stupid. Which I thought was impossible, but if there was ever an expectation any of them would exceed...”

The corner of Lalette’s lips twitched. She knew what he was trying to do, but she didn’t know why.

After everything, he should be relieved she wasn’t talking to him.

“--someone I love more than you.”

“I’m going home tonight.” She finally spoke, her voice dry and rough.

“What do you mean? You’re already home.” Five responded.

“No, my actual home, in California.”

“Nevermind, you’re actually more idiotic than any of them.” Five commented quickly.

“Maybe, but at least I’ll be far happier.” Lalette smiled cheaply. “Why? Because you have a deadline to meet? News flash, if I can’t figure what ends the world in the next six days, there’s no point. You’re going to be dead, everyone will be.” Five felt like he was the one going insane with how many times he had to drill the point in.

“Then I’ll make sure to have fun while it lasts. Surrounded by people I actually like.” She flashed a smirk at him before grabbing her glass and going around the bar, towards the stairs.

“Okay, I get it. You’re pissed, I get that. But are you really going to use your last days to try to get back at me? It’s not a very good look.” Five followed after her, stopping at the bottom of the staircase.

Lalette stopped midstep. “I won’t be getting in your way anymore. I won’t be there to annoy you. You should be able to work faster that way. I won’t be third-wheeling your marriage. You can thank me after the world doesn’t end.”

“Okay, fine. What do you want me to say? That I’m sorry? That I should be feeling really fucking stupid right now after you saved my shit back there? Fine, then. I’m sorry and I do feel stupid. The last thing I need to be doing is proving that I do need you because you’re a force of nature and with my smarts to back it, we’re un-fucking-stoppable. All better now?” Five said with a tense jaw, unable to look at her consistently.

Lalette tugged at a piece of dried skin on her lip. She focused on the condensation starting to form on the glass in her hand. She thought about it.

Get over herself and try to stop everyone and herself from dying or be stubborn, which she was good at?

And maybe see how much farther she could drag this out?

“See, usually that’d do the trick, but it’s kinda hard to want to back someone who’s out here fucking a mannquin.” She smiled cruelly down at him.

“Fucking christ, Eight, can you get over that already? What does it even matter to you?” Five spat at her, but knew damn well why it bothered her so much.

“That is not my name anymore!” Lalette’s voice turned into a growl as the anger ripped through her at the name. Her eyes lit up and the foundation of the house shook, the glass in her hand shattered. Blood trickled out of her nose once more. She didn’t have the energy to fuel that type of power. She was only hurting herself.

Even if she had always allowed Five to be the exception, it didn’t mean hearing that name didn’t send a cold shock through her spine each time.

Dad was the only one who referred to her as that since mom gave them names and once Lalette left the house, she no longer had anyone call her that.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that you felt that way about it.” Five felt himself shrink down. He hadn’t ever seen her get so worked up.

Lights flickering, popping even, was just a card trick to her. He had seen that dozens of times over in their childhood. Now the extent of an entire department store, not so much. Now the night at Griddy’s was impressive. She had never made things that required so much force to stop. And now-- She was much more powerful than he ever thought she could be.

She could very easily be the powerhouse of the family. And more with Five’s genius.

And he was in love with her. He was in love with her power, her unique hardheadedness, her beauty, her lack of grace, he loved her.

Things had indeed changed. He didn’t hold the same power over her that he once had. He didn’t get his way with her. She was truly torn and betrayed and she was going to hold him at a distance. And it wasn’t what he wanted.

Fuck, why did he bring Delores into this? Maybe because he didn’t want to face the fact that he was indeed in love with Lalette once more like he never left.

“Then you shouldn’t have left. There’s a lot you don’t know.” Lalette continued up the stairs. She used her sleeve to wipe the blood from her face.

Five blinked in front of her at the base before the next case of stairs, standing in her face. “You think I left with the intent to not come back? I tried to come back, and I never stopped. All I ever did was try to survive until I could figure out the right equation and come back home to my family. I never stopped wanting to come home.” He wasn’t angry, he just wanted her to understand him. But it was frustrating.

She gritted her teeth tight, looking to the side, refusing to look at him.

“Lalette,” Five made it a point to use her name given by mom. Something he never used. She was his Eight. Everyone else called her by her new name, but she'd always be his Eight. Without it, his lucky number wouldn't make sense.

Now? She was Lalette. A cold, hard, even worse version of herself.

But he loved her. Because as much as she changed, she was the same. And he’d just have to learn how to love the parts that he didn’t know.

“I never wanted to leave, I just wanted to prove myself to the old man. I never stopped fighting to come home.”

“You’re doing a stand up job of acting like it’s quite the opposite. All you want is to be alone now. Like you’re just dying to get back to it.” Lalette’s voice was strained as she wanted to say so much more, wanting to get all these pent up emotion out of her. “And I’m trying to give you that.”

“It’s just what I’m used to. I had no choice but to be by myself until I found Delores. And we’ve had each other for over 30 years. It’s hard not to fall back into a habit, especially when no one else understands.” Five said as he looked down at her, wishing she’d just make eye contact and see into his eyes and know everything he didn’t have the strength to say.

“She’s an inanimate object! What she says back to you is just your subconscious making up what you want to hear!” Lalette cried, eyes glistening.

“You don’t think I know that? Even I have weaknesses, I don't want to have to admit I’m fucking crazy, it’s just easier this way.” Five hated that she always had to be right. Always had to say what was out in the open even when no one wanted it said.

“Well, I’m also taking the easy way out. Now, if you don’t mind.” Lalette tried stepping around him, but Five grabbed her by the shoulders, jerking her to stay in place. “Having you around is also fucking hard on me as well, you know. But I’m not letting it get in the way of what’s important.”

Lalette’s eyes looked into his, hurt clouding her eyes. “You’ve had longer to get over it. I haven’t.” She had to look away because her eyes couldn’t help but linger elsewhere and she felt the pain in her chest couldn’t get worse without killing her.

Everyone knew the truth, even him. She never got over him. She moved on, but she never stopped loving him. She realized he was gone and most likely never coming back. But she knew the moment he reappeared (if ever) she was going to be the same little Eight he knew. And it made her want to fight it harder but she couldn’t lie to him. All she wanted was to stay with him, never let him go. She wanted the life she always wanted-- With him.

“That might be true, but you’re doing a good job at making me feel like I never did.” Five’s voice quieted. Like it was a big secret that no one else could overhear. Lalette felt her eyes well up again. She blinked rapidly to try to dissipate it.

“Then you better get back to Dolores and I’ll leave.” Lalette said with a nod, gesturing up the stairs.

Five’s fingers dug deeper into her skin, tightening his hold on her. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want to lose you either. Glossing over the big stuff, underneath it all you’re still my family and I missed you. I can stop the apocalypse on my own, but I don’t want to...” His voice lowered to a soft whisper. “So don’t make me.” He pleaded gently with her.

Lalette blinked several times, speechless. He made no sense! One second he was confiding in her, letting her get close, then he was pushing her away, then she’d give in and let him have his way, and yet he wouldn’t let her leave?

Five waited for a response, hopeful that she’d give in. For once she’d have to give into him.

She needed the validation, the answers that he refused to give her. Did he love her like she always loved him?

She leaned forward, kissing him hard. Five, once again, tensed for the few seconds it took for him to remember how she felt.

Five reciprocated, kissing her just as passionately. His hands cupped her face, holding her tight against him.

She tasted of stale blood and tequila. Nothing he wasn’t used to. But to taste it from someone else?

That was a new experience, and it just drove him crazy.

Lalette let out a small whine, her hands gripping onto his jacket fervently.

Five gasped, tongue exploring hers. The tightness in his pants became uncomfortable.

The idea to take Lalette up to some room where they could be alone, and show her how much he learned, what all he wanted her to feel of him...

Five pulled away from her, breathless. “We don’t have to unpack all of that.”

“We could.” Lalette pathetically begged, leaning her body against his, drunk on his kiss.

“We don’t. The world’s ending.” Five argued.

“If we save the world, and we don’t die, we’ll have time, right?” She asked desperately, boring her eyes into his.

“Right.” Five nodded, even though he knew damn well he didn’t know if he could give her exactly what she was looking for.

Here Comes the End (Five Hargreeves/Original Female Character| The Umbrella Academy) - Zellyjs (2025)

Chapter 1: Healing From Your Childhood Trauma Until You're Forced to Go Back Home

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

Chapter Text

Chapter 7

Chapter Text